Step away from the boat....

Or actually, step INTO the boat.....stepping away from the boat is what got me in trouble to begin with.  This summer we were at the lake house.  In fact, I think it was the first time we had gotten there all summer.  On Saturday Eric, Raechyl and Adam went fishing and they ALL caught some pretty big large mouth bass but Adam had caught "BIG DADDY"....which, of course, includes bragging rights.  So Sunday morning, I told Eric that I was going to go fishing and beat that catch.....but no one wanted to go except Eric.  So he unteathered the boat as he had done a million times before and I went to get in, as I had done a million times before and for some reason, the boat started to slip away.  I had one foot on the seat and the other foot on the dock.  My choices were clear:  I could NOT jump backwards as the boat was pulling me forward so I had to jump in the boat.  However, as luck would have it, as I jumped, my foot on the seat slipped off the seat and I dove, literally, face first into the anchor.....not able to break my fall with anything.  After the initial hit, my head flung backwards as it should have.....you know - basic science.....a body in motion tends to stay in motion unless acted upon by an outside force.  Well, that outside force was the anchor and it stopped me dead in my tracks.  I literally heard my face crackle.  Hands to face IMMEDIATELY as Eric continued to ask, "Are you OK?!!!!  Are you OK?!!!!!" I said nothing, just kept my face covered until the blood started pouring through my hands.  He threw me a towel and proceeded to get me out of the boat, up the dock and inside.  My nose was literally pouring blood out at the rate of a full open faucet.  After about 30 minutes of saying nothing, just scared I decided to go in and look at the damage.  When I did, I touched my nose (at the bridge) and it literally wobbled back and forth.......clue number 1 that it was definitely broken....and BAD.

So, in Eric's infinite compassion and wisdom he asks me if I needed to go to a hospital......Um, I thought, Yup.....I'm thinking my gooey floppy nose won't fix itself.  Then he asks if I wanted to go to Troy, NY Hospital (40 minutes away) or Morristown Memorial, NJ (4 HOURS away)......he KNEW we had coverage in Morristown......I opted for Troy.  A CT scan later and a confirmation of a "shattered nose and broken orbital socket" - yes, I broke my eye socket as well, not to mention ripped my left shin wide open, but there was no meat so they opted NOT to stitch but to wrap tightly to stop the bleeding and sent me off with my CT scan, my bandaged leg and towel for my STILL bleeding nose to go home.  Next day I called an ENT and went in for evaluation.  Yup, shattered nose all right.  Needed immediate surgery - next day.  There was nothing they could do for the broken orbital socket except let it heal.  This was the beginning of a VERY bad 4 weeks to follow.

The whole ordeal freaked me out.  I think it was because it was my face.  I didn't want anyone anywhere near me.  I freaked out ANY time someone or something was within 3 feet of me, so I pretty much stayed alone (far from my family and dog) for about 3 weeks which is how long it took to be able to put glasses back on and a full 6 weeks to be stable enough to blow again.

So, there you have it.  Once again, speedy gonzales got all twisted up in some sort of physical thing that , of course, resulted in yet another surgery - and that would not be my last for this summer.  Looking back, this was the worst summer in my memory.....for a multitude of reasons.  But as always, God is bigger than all this and today I am, once again, forging forward.  Not looking back because I am not going that way.  In time, ALL wounds heal, both the physical ones and the internal scars left from hurts sometimes too deep to even think about.

Until next time......

Life.....Too much sometimes.....

Again, I haven't blogged in forever and I really think it is because my computer no longer lives in my kitchen in a tidy little place that is visible all the time, rather it is a laptop.....convenient?  Yes.  However I prefer a comfy seat and a separate keyboard.  But I digress.....

My family life took a turn for the worse about three years ago when I, against my husbands incredibly accurate gut instinct, allowed my sister to move in to help with the care of my mom.  We moved into a mother/daughter home at that time so she could have her own place (yes, I miss my other house, but this is now becoming home).  My sister lasted here a little over a year before she broke the one rule we had, causing us to have to ask her to leave.  It was a risk to our family to keep her here.  Needless to say, it didn't go over well as she had no where to go (she was homeless when she came which is the ONLY reason I begged Eric to allow her to come in the first place).  Long story short she "popped" in unannounced, which was incredible since we asked her to not come back.....and viola!  There she was in my living room, which caused some problems.  OK....LOTS of problems.  So much so that we had to hire an attorney to protect our assets as she was making accusations that we were misappropriating my mothers funds (totally not true.)  My mom lived with us ten years and we had taken nothing from her in those 10 years.  Long story short, she "popped" in two more times and this last time was this summer.  My mom almost died while she was here.  Ended up in sub acute rehab.  My mom lasted there 2 weeks before I got a call from the facility advising me that my sister took my mom AMA (against medical advice) and that was that.  GONE.  My mom was GONE.....and the worst part yet - NO ONE would tell me where she was other than they were going to CA on Sunday morning (this was Friday night and the facility was the one who told me that).  Best description I could give of the feeling and destruction that was left behind was as if my mom was kidnapped.  There that morning cause I went to see her.  Several hours later she is gone and no one will tell me anything.  Via text, we BEGGED Terri to allow us to say goodbye to no avail and by Saturday night were begging to let the kids say goodbye ON HER TERMS and she said no.  So 3 weeks have passed and we will never know where my mom is.  My sister will not tell us and my daughter went so far as to text Terri to ask how Mina was and to tell Mina she loved her and Terri told Raechyl that I was the reason they "snuck" out because I was stressing my mom out?  WTF does that mean?  Raechyl (bless her wise soul) told Terri to take responsibility for her own actions for once in her life and asked again to speak with Mina and the last response was "Hun, call me when you're 18 and we'll talk)....she is 16+.

I'll blog about some other things that happened in those 5 weeks preceding this event (some quite funny  - other, not so much).  but our family is trying to recover from the trauma caused by this event.  And to boot, this isn't the first time my mom left me with nothing.  When I was 13 she took my sister (then 16) to California and left me behind with my abusive alcoholic father for 2 years with not so much as a phone call just to come home 2 years later.  This time she isn't coming home.  I am sure I will never see her alive again.  I am also pretty sure I won't even be notified when she dies.  After 47 years of this family and 20 of caring for my mom (10 in her home and the last 10 in mine) you could imagine what we are dealing with....especially with regards to my children.  But God is bigger than all this....I have to keep reminding myself of this.  But it has been nearly 3 weeks now and I can honestly say I haven't had too many days without tears and I am pretty sure I will never understand this whole thing nor why it was done nor how someone could to that to someone......not allow them and their children to say goodbye.  That is all we asked and were denied again and again.

So for now, we (my immediate family) pull closer, dig deeper, talk more, pray a lot and just try to get thru this most difficult season.

Until next time......

THE BULLY PROJECT

I JUST WATCHED A MOVIE CALLED BULLY.  IT BROKE MY HEART HITTING HOME FOR ME.  I WAS BULLIED BY NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS FROM AGE 7 THROUGH MIDDLESCHOOL AND BY GIRLS IN HIGH SCHOOL.  I AM NEARLY 50 YEARS OLD AND CAN STILL REMEMBER THEIR FACES AND NAMES.  IN THIS MOVIE, THE DIRECTORS DID A FANTASTIC JOB FOLLOWING SEVERAL KIDS WHO WERE BULLIED AND DEPICTED HOW INEFFICIENT SCHOOLS ARE AT HANDLING THIS INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT ISSUE.  IT ALSO FOLLOWED THE SELF INFLICTED DEATHS OF TWO KIDS WHO WERE BULLIED AND THEIR FAMILIES LIVES IN THE YEAR FOLLOWING.  THIS IS WHAT BORN THIS MOVIE.

I HAVE ORDERED THE KIT TO GO TO MY CHILDRENS SCHOOL TO BRING AWARENESS TO THIS EPIDEMIC.  IT ONLY TAKES ONE - THAT'S RIGHT - ONE CHILD TO STAND UP FOR SOMEONE WHO CAN'T STAND UP FOR THEMSELVES....BE THAT ONE CHILD.

MY HOPE IS THAT I CAN INCENT MY CHILD'S SCHOOL'S FELLOW STUDENTS TO GO TO OTHER SCHOOLS AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE.  SOLIDARITY....THAT IS WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.  A FOREST FIRE STARTS WITH ONE HEART THAT IS ON FIRE.  LET THIS MOVIE IGNITE A NATIONWIDE EPIDEMIC THAT PUTS AN END TO THIS HORRIFIC AND GROWING PROBLEM BY STANDING UP AND BEING HEARD.  BE THE VOICES OF THOSE WHO NO LONGER HAVE A VOICE.....

AS PER "ALICETX.COM" THE FOLLOWING STATISTICS WERE GATHERED:

The numbers continue to rise every month...

- It is estimated that 160,000 children miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students.

Source: National Education Association

- American schools harbor approximately 2.1 million bullies and 2.7 million of their victims. Dan Olweus, National School Safety Center.

- 1 in 7 students in Grades K-12 is either a bully or a victim of bullying.

- 56 percent of students have personally witnessed some type of bullying at school.

- 15 percent of all school absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied at school.

- 71 percent of students report incidents of bullying as a problem at their school.

- 1 out of 20 students has seen a student with a gun at school.

- 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.

- Those in the lower grades reported being in twice as many fights as those in the higher grades. However, there is a lower rate of serious violent crimes in the elementary level than in the middle or high schools.

- 90 percent of fourth through eighth graders report being victims of bullying

- Among students, homicide perpetrators were more than twice as likely as homicide victims to have been bullied by peers.

- Bullying statistics say revenge is the strongest motivation for school shootings.

- 87 percent of students said shootings are motivated by a desire to "get back at those who have hurt them."

- 86 percent of students said, "other kids picking on them, making fun of them or bullying them" causes teenagers to turn to lethal violence in the schools.

- 61 percent of students said students shoot others because they have been victims of physical abuse at home.

- 54 percent of students said witnessing physical abuse at home can lead to violence in school.

- According to bullying statistics, 1 out of every 10 students who drops out of school does so because of repeated bullying.

- Harassment and bullying have been linked to 75 percent of school-shooting incidents.

NATIONAL STATISTICS:  (http://nces.ed.gov/fastfacts/display.asp?id=49)

SOURCE: U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics. (2012). Indicators of School Crime and Safety: 2011 (NCES 2012-002).

Percentage of students ages 12-18 who reported criminal victimization at school during the previous 6 months, by type of victimization and selected student characteristics: 1999, 2005, and 2009
Student characteristic	1999				2005				2009
	Total	Theft	Violent	Serious violent1	Total	Theft	Violent	Serious violent1	Total	Theft	Violent	Serious violent1
Total	7.6	5.7	2.3	0.5	4.3	3.1	1.2	0.3	3.9	2.8	1.4	0.3
Sex
Male	7.8	5.7	2.5	0.6	4.6	3.1	1.6	0.3!	4.6	3.4	1.6	0.6
Female	7.3	5.7	2.0	0.5	3.9	3.2	0.8	0.3	3.2	2.1	1.1	‡
Race/ethnicity2
White	7.5	5.8	2.1	0.4	4.7	3.4	1.3	0.3!	3.9	2.9	1.2	0.3!
Black	9.9	7.4	3.5	1.2	3.8	2.7	1.3!	‡	4.4	2.5	2.3!	‡
Hispanic	5.7	3.9	1.9	0.6!	3.9	3.1	0.9	0.4!	3.9	3.0	1.3!	‡
Asian	—	—	—	—	1.5!	‡	‡	‡	‡	‡	#	#
Other	6.4	4.4	2.2!	#	4.3!	‡	‡	‡	‡	‡	‡	#

STAND UP AND DO SOMETHING.  GO TO    http://www.thebullyproject.com AND JOIN.  FOLLOW ME....TWEET IT....FACEBOOK IT.  DO WHAT YOU CAN.  GET THE WORD OUT AT YOUR SCHOOLS.  LET'S LET NOT ONE MORE CHILD TAKE THEIR OWN LIFE BECAUSE THEY FEEL THERE WILL BE NO END TO THEIR ABUSE.