I.N.E.P.T.....

Ineptitude...that was where I was going with that. Today I worked; half day really. I substitute teach for ACS. I got the call at 6:30 am. I had an appointment with my trainer at 9:30 for one hour which meant I could be there at 11:30. Deal.

I went to work out - which is always an event in and of itself. Suffice it to say that Mark and I are finally on the same page. I want to work out and he wants me to work out. I eat the garbage and he tells me it is garbage and belongs IN the garbage. I say it hurts and he makes me give him five more. If you think he sounds like a drill seargant, he isn't at all. He is rather meek in nature. About 6'4ish and about 295 pounds of pretty solid mass. He isn't all cut up (lean) but if he were to rip it up, he would be downright scary. However, he is soft spoken, rather succinct and just has a great sense of humor - so we get along just fine. I am long winded - him...not so much. I eat like garbage - him...not so much. I am deep in thought - him...not so much. I am sarcastic - him...yeah - he is too! So we are finally on the same page cause I actually want to show up now and look forward to the push. Side note: he finally told me that he hated me not wanting to come on "several levels...first because I want you to be healthy - second because I didn't give it my all and third (this floored me) because he felt like he was letting me down because he "failed" to motivate me"...I felt horrible. Here I am complaining when I am there that it hurts...I hate cardio...why do I have to do core work...and all along he felt like he was failing me because he hadn't found what motivates me! Now, that - in my mind - is what seperates him from the pack. He IS a trainer above all other trainers.

Okay - brought my work clothes to the gym to shower there and hit the road. I WAS smart enough, though, to take 2 different skirts and 2 different tops cause I was afraid one might not fit from last summer and sure enough - it didn't...AT ALL...(perhaps Mark might have a point about that garbage actually belonging IN the garbage and not my stomach)...I scurried around, found a blow dryer...threw on makeup...put some gel something or other in the hair...put 2 skirts on and 2 tops and settled for one of each with a jacket to cover it all! Now, Mark has never seen me in anything other than work out "who cares what I look like" clothes. I don't know about you, but I am NOT someone who has "nice" workout clothes. They are the same ripped sweats or shorts with the same sport shirts and I truly don't care what it looks like...I am there to lift, not to look good. So when I came out of the bathroom, he looked at me as if I were Superman coming out of the telephone booth! He did a double take and told me "I clean up nicely"...made me chuckle.

Then I go to teach. LOVE teaching, I truly do. I got there right before lunch. Walked the third grade class to lunch when one of the students, Alana, came up to me and said to me (with an "uncrustable" in her hand), "Mrs. Thieringer, my sandwhich is all hard". So I felt it and the only thing that was hard was the crust (on the uncrustable - does anyone other than me see the irony here?). So, I took it and said, "Alana, it is only the crust. I will peel off the crust and it will be fine." So Alana and I walk over to the garbage and I held the sandwhich over the can to peel off the crust - and you all know where I am going with this - I dropped the sandwhich in the garbage can. Now, for any other school it isn't a big one cause I could just buy her lunch, but we don't have a caffeteria. Hot lunches are bought in advance and brought in every day. So, I go on a mad hunt to get this poor girl lunch. Whew - got one and we are fine.

Fast forward to the afternoon and I am giving a history test. Three people at different times raised their hand and all asked me how to spell "Emperor". The third time I just told the class I would write it on the board so everyone willl know how to spell it and when I did, the class started giggling. I asked what was wrong and they informed me that I had just written the answer to question #3 on the board....UGH. Who knew? I explained that I had not seen nor gone over the test in advance and somehow managed to redeem myself for the second time in one day. Now, it was time to do science and if you know me - you KNOW what this does to me. I was supposed to go to the "lab" and do an experiment of some sort. I knew deep in my heart that the only thing that could come from this is NOT good, so I opted out. I decided to give them 1/2 hour free time (quiet free time) and then we reviewed for the Bible test tomorrow.

They are praying and hoping I will be the sub tomorrow, and why shouldn't they? I give out free lunches, give answers on tests and give free time because the word "science" makes me twitch.

Until next time...

My friend...my hero

Her name is Heather...most (if not all) of you know her. She is quite a remarkable woman. She is younger than me, but more wise than most. She married her wonderful husband some years ago and hoped for a family of their own. God had different plans. See, we often have ideas of how our lives will unwind, and sometimes God has the very same plan, the package just looks different.

I am not sure about you, but when God's package looks different, I often miss it and go on looking for MY package...but not Heather. See, she and Eric were not able to have their own children and at a concert, heard about adoption and the rest is history. They have two very beautiful "chosen" children - Juli from Siberia and now, Elias from Ethiopia. You could call them a blended family, but the only thing blended, in my opinion, is the sides of the world that each comes from. See, they were both born of God especially for Heather and Eric. God knew that these two children would need a loving Christian home to grow up in and He also knew that Heather and Eric would have that home and love to give. So, you see, God's plan was exactly the same as Heather's - to have a family of their own - it just came in a different package.

Once they went to that concert, the blaze was set and the forest began to burn. And I DO mean forest. God put this verse on Heather's heart: "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world (NASB)" (james 1:27) She began a ministry in our church at a local nursing home where, once a month, people go and visit with the folks and sing, or do crafts or just let them know they are loved. Then there was adoption - We are SO blessed by Juli and now Elias! What a privelege it has been to pray so hard for someone you never knew...and someday I can tell them I have prayed for them when I didn't even know their names! Our God is SO very big. And there is also World Vision. A worthy cause which supports children (mostly) in third world countries with basic cares and providing the gospel in the most remote parts of our planet.

Heather, Eric and Juli just came home from Africa with Elias. But God put it on their heart to go and see their sponsor child while in Africa...and World Vision arranged it! I just read her post (http://bringinghomeelias.blogspot.com/2009/04/world-vision-visit.html) and I was moved, once again, to tears. See, I have a sponsor child - her name is Haly. But sadly enough, I had to get her picture and bookmark my bible with it so I could remember her name. Oh, sure, I pray for her when I remember. We write that check each month, but I never once prayed over that check. I never once prayed that God would be seen in the way He has been seen by Heather and her family. I never wrote a letter, I don't spend time talking to my children about her even though her picture remains on our fridge. I am ashamed to write all of this, but for me, it is a sort-of confession - a wake up call if you will.

I know the tender heart of my friend - you can literally see it in the pictures and if you ever had the chance to hear Heather talk about adoption or children or widows, you would hear the undefiled love she has - she "oozes" love and Christ. She has been such a witness to so many people, but mostly to me. See, I don't really see her much, though I love her. I still have not seen Elias, though I pray for him. But none of this seems to rattle Heather...she just loves me anyway. And I guess that is where I come full circle...that undefiled love. I just don't know if I have it - not sure I ever will. But Heather does and she isn't afraid to share it. Sadly for Haly - she may never know the prayers and support of a different family, but in some odd way - she is MY sponsor child. Though I have not supported her the way I ought, that will change now and I can assure you of that. And all because of my friend, Heather. So, Heather - this is for you. You are quite a special friend, and for today, you are my hero!

Until next time...

Twitter what?

Now I just got totally ticked off. I joined Twitter several months ago to find one friend. I, since then, got notification that a cousin is on twitter. So today I looked her up to get a message to her telling her to join facebook. I have been sitting on this computer for the last (literally) 45 minutes trying to send her a message thru Twitter and STILL can't do it. UGH. This is why I sometimes loathe computers. I had a list of things to do this morning before I left to work out. What did I get done you ask? NOT a single thing. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero.

So, Katie, when I am able to get a message to you, you will know I think about you often, as does Eric. I stink at correspondance, as each and every one of my friends will testify to. I don't return phone calls, I don't write letters anymore, I rarely send cards and the fact that I have even one single friend still fascinates me. God is good!

I might as well add...After workout I will see Alicia, drop Raechyl off at the barn and go to get my butt whooped by Adam in bowling. The 7 year old. Yup - no bumpers and NO gutters for him. Nope - the real deal. He is a naturally gifted athlete - excels at each and every sport he plays. And me - well - not so much. I am the natural artist - spacey - ditzy at times - loyal to those I love.

Well, gotta go. Just wanted to voice my complaint about Twitter - anyone agree? It just occurred to me that all I do on blogspot is complain. Next blog will have to be boasting of some good.

Maybe complaining is what I do best. Lord knows my sarcastic sense of humor gets me thru. I am blessed that my friends understand it and take me lightly. God even blessed me with one other sarcastic friend, but I won't mention your name, Kelly.

Until next time...

Hhhmmm...

I hate to beat a dead horse, but I really think I am going to get that Mother-of-the-Year award this year. My mom's friends came over today. They used to be my neighbors growing up and they are just wonderful ladies...way fun. They got here at about 11 am. Now I was under a tight schedule today. Kristen was picking Adam up at 1:15 to go to a party about 20 minutes away. I was to leave here by 1:30-1:45 to drop Raechyl at Kristens house and pick him up from the party and take him to the doctor by 3:30 in Morristown. We had lunch...Marilyn made chili and cornbread (yum) and we were just yakking away. We had dessert, coffee and more yummy conversation. We began to talk about Marilyn's husband, Henry. He is an artist of a very unique nature...he sculpts art from scrap metal (henry-simon.com). So I went to the computer to check out his site and that is when it happened.

The time was 2:20 - panic mode. I start yelling for Raechyl to hurry up and come here...I flipped over the keyboard and nearly knocked the chair over trying to get my shoes on and grab my jacket all the while still yelling for my near scared-to-death daughter who thought I was hurt. "We HAVE to go....NOW....I am going to be late to get Adam to the doctor". Now, I won't mention that I get lost in a mall and I have absolutely NO idea where this party is and consider leaving Raechyl at home to avoid the extra 3 minutes it will take to drop her off. OK, no, get myself together, hopping down the sidewalk with one boot on and the other in my hand, coat slung over my shoulder and my 12 year old running behine me. I kissed the ladies bye before I ran out and made my exit.

We get about a mile down the road and I realize I cannot possibly make it to the doctor until 4 pm BEST CASE SCENARIO. So, I call the doc, explain I will be late and they inform me that now, I have to reschedule. I might add a minor detail...it took nearly 5 weeks to get this doctor appointment because they are a specialist. Adam has some belly issues and takes medicine for it. We ran out and I had to call in for refills. No, Dr. Youseff, who used to be his doctor, used to give us 12 refills and called it a day. Well, Dr. Youseff no longer works at Goryeb Children's Hospital so now I have to see a different doctor and start from square one again.

I rescheduled for May, take Rae to Kristen's house and sat in my car thinking of how many times I have spaced things off like Adam's first day of school - leaving my child at their aunt's house once - going shopping with no wallet....I could go on and on. I decided what was done was done. So what is a girl to do?

That's right - go to the barn. Straight to the barn - do not pass go - do not collect $200. I took Buddy out of the quagmire of mud and spent the next two hours grooming and loving on him. I did get to go to Kristen's and have a wonderful dinner that the kids cooked for us. Does anyone other than me see the irony here? Kids cooking dinner for the mom that can't get her kid to a doctor on time!

Well, that's my life. In the end, my child is healthy...he got to stay for the entire party instead of leaving early...my daughter got to spend extra time with her friend...Buddy got at least 7 hours of clean before being put back out in the mud pit...I got to eat dinner with my friend's and kids and in the end, we are all alive and well. I guess, that is all that matters.

Oh, one last thing. I was pretty clear today when I left that the ladies were to take the apple turnovers AND the basket of candy home...DO NOT leave it here is what I said (actually, that might be an exact quote). They agreed and I ran. I came home to about 8 apple turnovers and then entire bowl of candy still on the table. So what did I do? Ate the ENTIRE bowl of candy and left the apple turnovers for the next guy (thank God I don't like them).

So, thank you, Ladies, for a wonderful day. It was wonderful to see them. My pants don't button anymore, I feel sick to my stomach and I am breaking out like the black plague in a third world country.

Until next time...

R, S, TEA, U, V...

Now I don't know about you, but I am a coffee girl myself. I have a friend who is a coffee girl, too, but evidently she indulges in a cup of tea here and there. For me, it is a cross over - like going from a Corvette to a Hundai...not something you normally do....coffee OR tea - not both. But Kelly has a liking for both. And as for her husband, Timm, well clearly he is a tea guy. And I hear it must be Chai tea. And for him, the tea thing makes complete sense. He travels internationally - almost exclusively to the Orient - namely Japan. One might think that tea is the thing there. I really don't recall any conversation where coffee and Japan (or China) is used in the same breath. Usually tea is the catch word. So, on with the story...

For Christmas, I gave my friend a day or organizing. Something I fancy myself on. I would like to think it is one of my strong points, though my family and my own home would testify to the contrary. I went one day last week and organized her desk area and cabinets that surround the desk. Today I went back to organize the rest of the kitchen and clean the fridge and pantry. The cabinets were already pretty good, but I must say that Kelly DOES have a hard time parting with certain items...(hey, Kel - that MAY be why we needed to purge some stuff). So, to the pantry. Now, she has the bare bones for a way organized closet. All I had to do was put all the "same" stuff together - like all baking stuff on one shelf, all breakfast stuff in another, etc. So I decided to use the on-the-door shelving for baking stuff and coffee/tea. MISTAKE. Have you ever glanced something over just to find out later you didn't see clearly AT ALL? That was what happened with me....quick scan....should fit. For the record, the shelves on the door (each door) was about 6. I used the top shelf for coffee, tea, etc. OOPS - found more tea. OK, take what I put on the second shelf (baking stuff) move to the third shelf and use the second shelf for more tea. OOPS - found more tea. Move the baking stuff from the third shelf to the fourth shelf so I can put more tea on the third shelf. Now, by this time, one might think that I would be smart enough to do one of two things....either scan again or just move the baking stuff to a different door. But, I did neither. OK, move some stuff here and there and....OOPS - oh look - more tea! Take the baking stuff from the fourth shelf, move to the fifth shelf and put YET MORE tea on the fourth shelf. At this point, you all know how much I like "whatever"anon...I called Kelly. "Hey, Kel...I think you need TA". She knew RIGHT away what I meant...."TEA ANNONYMOUS". Now I understand Timm's love of tea, but this was ridiculous. I suggested that she start giving these beautifully decorated oriental tea containers filled with who knows what kind of tea for gifts. Perhaps a hostess gift, a last minute birthday gift...a 'just need to get rid of this' gift - ANYTHING!

We have a mutual friend, Alicia, who loves tea. I suggested four shelves earlier to give some tea to Alicia. Kelly now thinks she should unload ALL this tea on Alicia. I don't think even Alicia could use all this tea. Reminded me of the Boston Tea Party. Now, completely sane men killed each other over tea and Kelly is hoarding the mother load of tea right here in her pantry. To make a longer story short, I ended up needing to use a shelf in the actual pantry to house the rest of the tea.

All this to say, in the end, she DID make me a cup of tea that I might say was pretty good coming from the coffee girl. I just want to warn all of Kelly's friends....expect some tea for the coming holidays, events, Bible studies and the next party Kelly hosts. Timm, I love ya, but you HAVE to stop bringing tea home from the Orient and tell all your clients and friends that the very LAST think you need more of is...you guessed it...TEA!

Until next time...

Take a Number, Please...

That is the way it feels these days. I said we were at full capacity at the zoo, but apparently there is always room for one more. Adam's class pet, "Hammy" the hamster, is staying for the Easter week vacation. He has this red, swollen belly and I know the teacher cannot afford to take it to the vet. I called our vet and found out that it would cost $60 for us to walk in the door. HHHMMM...never mind I thought. They live only 2 years anyway - what's the big deal.

Well, the big deal is that I could not let this thing drag this red buldge around anymore. He licks and scratches like there is no tomorrow! OK, I'll take him (against my better judgement). Remember this is how I ended up with 3 of my 4 birds! And the dog....

The vet was very kind. He is in Chester, NJ. Dr. Tack. He saw Hammy, checked him out very carefully. I think very carefully was because Hammy is a nasty little critter and bites like the dickens. I have fang marks and blood to prove it.

No tumors, no cancer, no mites. Just an infected pouch of skin due to...are you ready for this?! Because the hamster is OBESE! What on earth is that! This hamster is OBESE. He took out the bird scale, put Hammy on and said, "He is obese". So, from being so fat and dragging that belly on pine bedding that he is alergic to (who knew!) his skin got infected. The cure you ask...orally administered antiobotics for the next 10 days. How on earth do you get a biting, crazy hamster to stand still and open his mouth for medicine? I have no idea but that is what I am tasked to do. He gave me the meds and I went to pay. Sinking feeling in my belly thinking, "How do I tell Eric that I took someone else's hamster to the vet and paid for that AND medicine" again?! Well, sit tight - you will never believe what the doc said....NO CHARGE~!!!!!!!!!!! I told him the story that it is a class pet (and it is) and that I just couldn't stand to see it suffer anymore and HAD to take it the doc. I guess he thought he would donate his services to a needy hamster named Hammy.

I thought he deserved some attention. He is:
Dr. Tack
Blackriver Vet
120 Route 206 North
Chester, NJ 07930

So, thank you Dr. Tack. Hammy is about to be forced into a corner and have a syringe shoved half way down him mouth for meds. That for the next week and he will be as good as new.

Until next time...

Eggs

Hey, I learned how NOT to boil eggs today (soft boiled - I wanted hard boiled) and I learned today that if you boil those soft boiled eggs too long the inside yolk turns green - go figure.

Cat Scratch Fever...

No, not the Ted Nugent kind...but it IS the very first thing I thought of when I looked up "Bartonella Henselea" and saw the layman's term "Cat Scratch Fever". Now, I had some (more) thoughts when I heard this...

First off, the predominant means of transfer of this disease is through, surprise surprise, cats! Then I thought, "I don't have a cat, as a matter of fact, I own a dog that eats cats (literally), own 4 birds and have my horse at the only barn in New Jersey that does NOT have a cat (or six as is usual at barns due to little critters)."

Doctor called me a "medical conundrum"...now that's pretty sad that a doctor is perplexed. Treatment is the typical Lyme disease course of treatment. 45 days of antiobotics and hopefully that kicks it out. I have a few things going against me...I have mal-absorption of Vitamin B12 and Iron, making life a struggle...my hormones are SO out of whack that I need to see a doctor for Bio-Replacements at age 43, struggle with recurring EBV and now Bartonella Henselea. All have similar symptoms...General fatigue, malasia, sore joints (which makes working out a real joy), lack of energy and attention. Hence, life with mommy isn't a ball of go, go, go. And my poor husband is an absolute saint. He knew I was 'sickly' (as my mom calls it) when he married and married me anyway. He is mom, dad, taxi driver, chief cook and bottle washer.

Thought I would tell you guys another ironic story...cat scratch fever....go figure. Oh, I just remembered...got a call from the first grade teacher this morning. She wants me to come in this afternoon to have that Easter party (pathetic bags and all). So I scrambled (hey, no pun intended) to get some eggs to boil (and that is a whole other story in itself...apparently I don't know how to boil eggs either), party stuff like brownies, fruit, plates and the like. I am still trying to get these soft boiled eggs to turn hard and once they do (assuming they WILL) I will be back off to school to get this party done. And, yes I did find loot bags with cute eggs, bunnies and spring stuff on them to transfer from those pathetic lunch bags to cute loot bags. Hopefully I can redeem myself here.

Until next time...

What is up with that cake?

OK...so I was a bit behind with Adam's birthday stuff - like this cake. But he said he wanted to help me make it after school. Hey, I will be the first to tell you I cannot cook to save my life, but I CAN bake. So no sweat with this cake. I baked it after school and waited for it to cool. Adam came in to decorate - that was his job. I laid the first cake layer on the plate....did I actually say that? Let me rephrase that...I TRIED to lay the first layer on the plate, but it stuck, then fell apart. Adam said no big one - just put the other one on top. This second layer I was WAY more careful with. Now mind you, this has NEVER happened before. I give Adam the frosting and the bin from the pantry filled with decorations for him to go to town. And go to town he did.

He used a little bit of everything. And it kept falling apart....hhhhmmmm....I really don't get it. It got so bad that I even offered to make another cake. He said it was OK. Now, what Adam wanted for dinner was dessert, which meant dessert was dinner. Cake first, homemade pizza next. We sang happy birthday and tried, emphasis on tried, to cut the cake and it just kept falling apart. At this point, I am perplexed. I just kept thinking it has been one of those days. Adam tries to eat it with the fork and decided he needed a spoon - what does that tell you?! Eric began to eat it and said, "hhhmmm...it tastes like it is missing something". What could it be missing? I mean, how hard is it to make a yellow cake for goodness sake! Well, aparently it is pretty hard. I ate a piece (literally had to scoop some onto the fork and bring my mouth to the plate to get any bit in my mouth) and thought, "oooohhh, it DOES taste funny". So I went through my head with what I put in it and that is when it hit me.

I was laughing so hard I nearly peed my pants. I finally realized what I had forgotten. I forgot the eggs - yup - the sticking ingredient! And immediately I thought (many 'ramdom' thoughts) "How ironic - Easter weekend and I forget the eggs"..."HHmmm...maybe I should put more emphasis on Christ and less on cakes"...."this is what I get for flying by the seat of my pants". And on and on it went. Adam ate the cake, as did Eric. As for Mina, well I don't even need to address that one. Me....I didn't eat another bite. Not that I could even if I wanted to. I watched Eric and Adam scooping this cake in itty bitty crumbles into their mouth, leaving more on the table than in their mouths, but like the big men they are....they just kept eating.

CRAP! I forgot the pizza in the oven. See, in the beginning I did tell you I will be the first one to admit I can't cook. So, there was his birthday dinner and dessert. A cake you literally couldn't eat and pizza that was so crunchy it is still sitting on the pizza stone. And so it goes, my life that is. I muddled my through this day and onward to tomorrow.

Did I forget to tell you that the first grade room moms forgot to plan something for Easter (yes, at the CHRISTIAN school) for the kids. I ran into one of them in the hallway on the way to deliver those cupcakes and she told me that she lost her head. I told her she should talk to those room moms, one of which is her. Guess who the other is....YUP....you guessed it - ME! So in a last ditch effort to redeem ourselves, we went to Mrs. P (the teacher) and offered to do something last minute, but they don't have time tomorrow. I told Kristen I would make little loot bags and call it a day. Now, for those who know me - this is my art. Anything crafty. I can make a rotten meal look like a chef's delight....take a bare table and make it look like Martha Stewart's....make a loot bag look like a million bucks....until today. I went to the dollar store, got some candy, playdough and gums - that sort of thing. I went home to make them and I nearly dropped dead of a heart attack. I had NO loot bags. I swear a robber came in last night and took the supply cause I have MILLIONS. But I cannot find a one. So, I get out the brown paper lunch bags out and print a pathetic label and staple it on....I am almost, no not almost - totally, embarrassed to even deliver them. Here, I will give you a glimpse....

BAD DOG!

OK, it has been how long since I last posted??? Boy o boy. I have been in a pit of fatigue. Really stinks. I have sat here time and time again...wanting to write, just too darn tired to think of what to write. So, I'll fill you in on the by-gones. Rae is in Washington D.C. from last Saturday until tomorrow at a National Youth Leadership Conference. Can hardly believe it. My little girl has grown up and spent her first week away from home. She was fine...me - not so much. I had stomach trouble the entire day. Stopped seven times on the way down. Met some friends in Maryland afterwards for dinner. Stopped seven times on the way home and continued to throw up all night long. Is that pathetic or what. Can you imagine what would happen to me if my child didn't come home one night - like blew off curfew?

Then, Adam's birthday is today. I have NEVER, and I mean NEVER NOT made a fancy cake three days early and have cupcakes made two days in advance, but not this time. I was up at 4 am making cupcakes and frosting them at noon so I can leave here in an hour to run to school to celebrate his birthday with his class. Still no cake. Adam told me this morning he wants to make it with me tonight...whew. Kids are so forgiving and pliable. They don't even notice mom lagging behind. I'll tell ya, it is really weird with Raech gone. She is 6 years older than Adam. I guess this is a little taste of what is to come.

Cute, right? Not so much anymore. My dog is lucky to be alive. Lucky to be breathing another breath of air this morning. He had, since we got him (and by the way, we spent a small fortune to save his life about a month after we took him home from a shelter that he was at for over 2 years!) marked our sun room. No where else....just the sun room. My EX-favorite room in the house. Encased in beautiful long windows on every wall, white carpet, plants, serene. Until Lance. It got so bad that I actually got baby gates to close off that room (I did, however, consider tying him to the bumper and driving as fast as I could up that driveway of mine). Now, no one goes in that room cause of the pee and poop stench and stains, but I was just flat out sick and tired of cleaning poop and pee every day. And there is NO reason the dog should do this. This has gone on for nearly three years! He is out all day long. In, plays with kids, eats, goes out at night and then, he sneaks around and poops and pees. OK, so I closed off that room. Nearly a week went by and I thought, "Finally, we have this thing licked" and then it happened....

Lance peed and pooped in the DINING ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a beautiful area rug in there made of silk and let me tell you, I went straight to Pluto again! Eric cleaned it up and I gave Lance the benefit of doubt and thought perhaps we didn't take him out after he ate that night. Then there was last night. Out all day, in, ate, out last night, in again. This morning at 4 am while I was baking cupcakes I thought I should check that room and HE DID IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is ABSOLUTELY NO reason for this. So, I figure he is lucky to be breathing cause if I had my way, he would be right back in that shelter. He has single-handedly (or pawed?) destroyed our home that Eric has worked so hard to furnish! And, let me tell you. Anyone who knows me knows that is a mouthful for me to say. I adopt every animal I come across. I am the biggest animal lover out there. I have 4 birds, a horse, a guinea pig and THAT DARN DOG. And, I was the one who cried to have him (save him). I'll tell ya, I just don't know what to do with that dog...actually, I have a few ideas of what I can do with him, none of which are acceptable to my husband. I actually ran down the stairs to Eric's office this morning and screamed, "that dog SHIT in the dining room again"....and I NEVER swear (oh, I did recently when he left me with that darn jeep that lurched forward while getting gas and nearly took down the gas pump - remember?). Lance makes me lose my mind completely. What's a girl to do.

So, clearly the $4700.00 a month in drugs isn't cutting it anymore cuz of Lance, my stomach surgery comes back to haunt me when my kids are gone (sorry Eric), my Cambodian friend is leaving for a week and leaving me with my mom alone during spring break, Eric is working, we have no plans and an illegal drug habit no longer seems so bad!

All kidding aside (drugs are NOT $4700 a month, I am NOT considering another drug habit and I still want to kill Lance), I thought I would post something to get my mind off myself.

While typing, my mom asked me how I was feeling. "Tired, as usual" I told her. She told me that perhaps I need to see another doctor cause something might be wrong with my head...HELLO! I don't need a doctor to tell me that! She corrected herself and said that she didn't mean another doctor to check my head, but another doctor to check my hormones. Now, I don't know about you, but neither of those sounds right to me. I just asked her to quit while she was ahead...

Until next time...