For those of you who don't know, I have a sister who lives in California....the land of "fruits" and "nuts". That is a WHOLE other blog. I rarely talk to her, but lately have caught up and I have realized one scary thing....the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. Holy smokes, Batman...talking to her is like talking to myself...literally. We sound and look NOTHING alike, but she is a true blonde as well. Not on the outside...we are both brunettes. But on the inside, we are truly both blonde. After our last chat, I actually thought, if this is even possible, that she just may be blonder than me! Did I just say that? Is it possible that anyone could be blonder than me? Yup. I think it is. SHE, I repeat, SHE HAS TO BE blonder than me. She just has to be. Well, something just occurred to me. She used to say "Arrie, you got all the brains and I got all the hormones". I believe that is true. I won't comment on the hormone part, but I will go so far as to say that I actually think I got all the brains....isn't that a scary thought! ME with all the brains. That isn't saying much given all the blogs I have shared about myself. With that said...
We were chatting the other night. We were trying to figure out a way to fly her out for my mom's 85th birthday, but we just can't swing it because she is scheduled for surgery on October 23rd and the party is Oct 10th. A Saturday from 12-4. And (believe it or not) she has a doctor appointment on SATURDAY, OCT 10 at noon. That hardly seems possible but it is true. She has the ONLY doctor in all of California that works on Saturdays. OK. That is totally unrelated information except that the surgery is on her ankle, which she broke over a year ago. She broke it walking UP stairs. Yes, you read that correctly....walking UP stairs. Is it me or is that near impossible? Nope, not for Terri. For Terri, NOTHING is impossible.
So, she had her surgery and was at a friend's house recovering. Needless to say, it was a massive break and they had to put all sorts of pins and rods in her ankle so she had a script of some heavy duty pain meds when she got home and like a good girl, she took them faithfully. The first day she was all sorts of "dizzy" (and I use the term loosely) from the pain meds and had a horribly hard time walking on the crutches. She was describing it to me as I laughed out loud at the visual. She said she would get up on the crutches to walk and she would wobble to one side or the other, depending on the moment. She would try to walk across the room and wobble to the right and was nearly walking in to walls and falling over to one side or the other. The first day was bad and she thought "Man, I need to stop taking that medicine. I am completely SO looped that I can't even walk". But the thought of that was not a reality as the pain was so bad. Her description of the walking was hysterical. I kept picturing her walking, starting in the middle of the room and by the time she made 7 steps whe was stuck in one corner or the other, trying to figure out 1) how she got there and 2) how she would get back! She went on to tell me that this went on for two days.
After the second day, and no help from her friend Phoenix, she had a talk with herself and decided she just HAD to do something. She couldn't go on like this because she was going to inevitable add a broken hip or head to the list of the broken ankle. Phoenix thought the whole thing was pretty hysterical, laughing out of control each time she attempted the walking. But Terri is a trooper and was NOT about to quit. She just kept on keeping on. As each attempt to walk went on, Phoenix's laughter became more uncontrolled to the point where she actually wondered if it were HE who was taking the drugs. It was at this point that she finally made a firm decision and announced to Phoenix, "I CANNOT take those drugs anymore. I cannot walk. I hobble from one side to the other, I cannot walk a straight line and I am falling into walls and cannot figure out why other than it MUST be the drugs." And that is when Phoenix fessed up...
"Terri", he says, "I lowered one of your crutches a notch". At this point I nearly peed my pants laughing out loud SO darn hard that I woke up Adam. Apparently HE has quite a warped sense of humor (just like me). That is something I would do. Every time she took the crutches, depending on which arm pit the shorter one ended up under, she would wobble to one side or the other and Phoenix let this go on for two days before he fessed up. I nearly died. My kind of man!
Now, I can go on and on about her complete lack of any brains or sense here, but I won't. I will just suffice it to say that I am pretty sure I (emphasis on the "I") would have figured out something was wrong with the crutches right away, as blonde as I am, I am just SURE I would have checked the crutches. Now, I don't check the car to make sure Adam is in it, and I don't check the calendar to see that school starts, but I am SURE I would have checked that darn crutch.
Until next time...
We were chatting the other night. We were trying to figure out a way to fly her out for my mom's 85th birthday, but we just can't swing it because she is scheduled for surgery on October 23rd and the party is Oct 10th. A Saturday from 12-4. And (believe it or not) she has a doctor appointment on SATURDAY, OCT 10 at noon. That hardly seems possible but it is true. She has the ONLY doctor in all of California that works on Saturdays. OK. That is totally unrelated information except that the surgery is on her ankle, which she broke over a year ago. She broke it walking UP stairs. Yes, you read that correctly....walking UP stairs. Is it me or is that near impossible? Nope, not for Terri. For Terri, NOTHING is impossible.
So, she had her surgery and was at a friend's house recovering. Needless to say, it was a massive break and they had to put all sorts of pins and rods in her ankle so she had a script of some heavy duty pain meds when she got home and like a good girl, she took them faithfully. The first day she was all sorts of "dizzy" (and I use the term loosely) from the pain meds and had a horribly hard time walking on the crutches. She was describing it to me as I laughed out loud at the visual. She said she would get up on the crutches to walk and she would wobble to one side or the other, depending on the moment. She would try to walk across the room and wobble to the right and was nearly walking in to walls and falling over to one side or the other. The first day was bad and she thought "Man, I need to stop taking that medicine. I am completely SO looped that I can't even walk". But the thought of that was not a reality as the pain was so bad. Her description of the walking was hysterical. I kept picturing her walking, starting in the middle of the room and by the time she made 7 steps whe was stuck in one corner or the other, trying to figure out 1) how she got there and 2) how she would get back! She went on to tell me that this went on for two days.
After the second day, and no help from her friend Phoenix, she had a talk with herself and decided she just HAD to do something. She couldn't go on like this because she was going to inevitable add a broken hip or head to the list of the broken ankle. Phoenix thought the whole thing was pretty hysterical, laughing out of control each time she attempted the walking. But Terri is a trooper and was NOT about to quit. She just kept on keeping on. As each attempt to walk went on, Phoenix's laughter became more uncontrolled to the point where she actually wondered if it were HE who was taking the drugs. It was at this point that she finally made a firm decision and announced to Phoenix, "I CANNOT take those drugs anymore. I cannot walk. I hobble from one side to the other, I cannot walk a straight line and I am falling into walls and cannot figure out why other than it MUST be the drugs." And that is when Phoenix fessed up...
"Terri", he says, "I lowered one of your crutches a notch". At this point I nearly peed my pants laughing out loud SO darn hard that I woke up Adam. Apparently HE has quite a warped sense of humor (just like me). That is something I would do. Every time she took the crutches, depending on which arm pit the shorter one ended up under, she would wobble to one side or the other and Phoenix let this go on for two days before he fessed up. I nearly died. My kind of man!
Now, I can go on and on about her complete lack of any brains or sense here, but I won't. I will just suffice it to say that I am pretty sure I (emphasis on the "I") would have figured out something was wrong with the crutches right away, as blonde as I am, I am just SURE I would have checked the crutches. Now, I don't check the car to make sure Adam is in it, and I don't check the calendar to see that school starts, but I am SURE I would have checked that darn crutch.
Until next time...
