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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Tattoos....

I have been wanting more art....I mean, tattoos, lately.  I know just what I want and where (for the most part) and last week I decided it was high time to go get some foot art.  So off I went.

I wanted words on the side of my right foot.  So of course, I had to pick a font or design of writing, then I had to have the artist lay it out - over and over and over.....change that line - make that smaller - that should be a little higher - no loop there - more loop here....etc.  This poor artist redrew this three words literally a dozen times.  He was very patient while he did.  At last, I had decided it was perfect and the artist went to print out the stencil and was just about to come get me when it occurred to me....

I WROTE THE WRONG WORD -

It isnt No LOOKING back, it is no TURNING back!

I almost had the wrong word tattooed on my foot.  Whew - SO glad I caught that before it went on my foot.  Of course, this meant another half dozen tweaks and we were off.  Perfect.  Right side of right foot done....then I had a thought.  I wonder if he would recolor my cancer ribbon on the top of my left foot, which is 4 years old and kind of losing its vibrancy.  He agreed.....I figured, "since I'm here" right?

A tattoo gets covered for an hour, then uncovered and ointment stays on it for like a week....so I went home with two bandaged feet but no problem.  In an hour, it'll be fine.  I stayed home that night.

The next morning I went to put shoes on and couldn't.  I had the TOP of one foot tattooed and the SIDE of the other foot tattooed.  There isn't a pair of shoes in the world that can accommodate that (and believe me, if there were, I would own them....if it's one thing I have - it's shoes).  I must have put on twenty pair looking for ONE that wouldnt kill either one foot or the other.  Rae's advice was wear two different shoes.....ARE YOU KIDDING ME.  I have a reputation to uphold and it does NOT include two different shoes.....so being the slave to fashion that I am, I took one for the team and decided the left foot was just a recolor so I would wear something that rubbed that rather than the new tattoo....

....by the time I got home, I could no longer walk.  Literally.

The next day my recolored tattoo was SO infected from my rubbing it with dirt and sandals for 8 hours that it was swollen and bleeding.  It is one week and one day later and today is the first day I can wear normal shoes again.  I spent the next 4 days with bandages on my left foot and the last four days with medicine on it and as of today, I can now wear a shoe......first time today....and it isn't pretty.  It is fading away and scabbed and a mess thanks to my inability to worry more about my health than my shoes!  I am hoping that within a month, the color comes back and the scabs heal with no ill effects.

So, note to all:  NEVER TATTOO THE TOP OF ONE FOOT AT THE SAME TIME AS YOU TATTOO THE SIDE OF THE OTHER.....

Until next time....

10 More Useless (but true facts)....

Havent blogged in forever.  Mostly because I no longer have a computer.  But Rae has a Mac (not going there).  Anyway, had some time today when I actually had nothing to listen to and had to think.  I thought about blogging again - Lord knows I have a MILLION stories, but thought about some useless facts and thought you might be interested.  A nice way to ease back into blogging.

1) I'm "snarky"
2) SNARKY - Adj - (of a person, words, or a mood) Critical; cutting; testy.(google)
                         Adj - testy or irritable; short (dictionary.com)
                         Adj - A witty mannerism, personality or bahavior that is a combination of sarcasm,
                                  and cynicism.  Usually accepted as a complimentary term.  Snarky is sometimes
                                  mistaken for a snotty or arrogant attitude.  (urban dictionary)
(I'm going with urban dictionary)
3)  I STILL do not have my Corvette
4)  I only look 46
5)  I have a Paso Fino
5)  Paso Fino translated means Fine Stepper
6)  I still have no idea how to ride my Fine Stepper (but he looks good)
7)  I owned a double horse trailer before I had double horses......(talk to Eric)
8)  I grow extensive vegetables and spices every year and have no idea how to cook....I give them away
9)  I STILL kill every electronic device I have ever owned (Im on my FIFTH iPhone)
10) I grow cumquats.  I do not even know what I cumquat is, but I grow them (give them away too)

So there you have it.  My friends keep me around to keep them stocked with spices, fruits and vegetables....and because I am blonder than I pay to be.

Hey, its a crazy life, but its my crazy life.

Until next time......

NOTE:  I WAS CORRECTED BY MY FRIEND...NOT ONLY DO I NOT KNOW WHAT A 'KUMQUAT' IS BUT APPARENTLY I CANNOT SPELL IT EITHER.

Friday, May 18, 2012

SMH......

Sitting here smh (for anyone who doesn't know, that is Shaking My Head.  I swear I get all the weird animals.  My first bird that had only two toes and would go out of his way to get Eric.  My puppy, TJ, that will NOT eat something that isn't good for him but LOVES healthy food (carrots, sweet potatoes, lettuce, etc).  I have the horse that comes running through the pasture right up to you like a puppy dog when you call his name.  I now have the horse that doesn't know how to eat an apple.  Yup, you heard me correctly - doesn't know HOW to eat an apple.  I found that out two nights ago.

Now usually I have carrots for treats for the horses, but I was clean out of carrots, so I got an apple.  Poor Sammy apparently had never had an apple before that.  He just sunk his teeth into the apple (but not enough to break a piece off) and left it "hanging" in his mouth.  I tried to hold the apple and wiggle it to break a piece off in his mouth - nothing.  He just kept his teeth sunk into the apple and left the apple in his mouth.  I finally twisted the apple in his mouth while his teeth were sunk in and a piece broke off.  Once a piece is taken, eating the rest of the apple was easy.

Today, Sue came over to ride and hang with me and the horses.  I grabbed two apples (still having not gone food shopping) and headed out to the pasture.  Sue fed Buddy his apple and I tried to feed Sammy his apple.  Having gone through the same routine a few days earlier, I just kept twisting the apple in Sammys mouth trying to break a piece off.  After Buddy was done eating his, Sue looks over at me and sees me still with a whole apple in Sammy's mouth.  Sammy began to try to swallow the apple whole.  Then when he couldn't get it down his throat, he started "sucking" the juice out of the apple.  He wasn't letting it go, didn't know HOW to bite it and couldn't swallow it.  Sue sees this, grabs the apple out of his mouth, bit into it herself and fed the apple to Sammy.  I laughed so hard I almost cried.  Now, you have to know Sue to fully appreciate the scene.  Sue is, hhhmmmm, how shall I say it?......Sue is outspoken.  If she feels it, she says it.....and she doesn't care much WHO is around to hear.  She speaks her mind and has a great sense of humor.  She is also one of the most LOVING people I have ever met......genuine.  She sees this horse "sucking" on the apple and, having owns a horse herself, she starts in...., "What the $^&(@#@ is this horse doing!"  "Why won't he bit the $%%@**$( apple!" "What kind of horse doesn't know how to eat an apple".....and on and on it went.  I was just laughing.  Then she reaches across me, grabs the apple and takes a HUGE hunk out of it with her OWN mouth, spit the piece into her hand and proceeded to feed it to Sammy shaking HER head.  It was hysterical.

I did warn her that I was gong to blog about the apple.  This time she did good, though.  She stayed IN the saddle, never got muddy and rode English!  All in all it was a completely relaxing and awesome day of fun in the sun.  THanks Sue for the laughs.....especially about our moms.....I'll save that for another blog....that in itself is a whole other story.....LOL.

Much  love and.....until next time......

REAL girlfriends....

Yesterday while getting a pedicure with three of my besties.....I realized something.  Boy, are we REAL about other people.....er I mean......ourselves.  Sharon and I were talking about people - like REAL people....like US.  How we can be with other people and each other.  For instance, Sharon and I decided since Alicia and Traci were on two chairs further down the line and talking amongst themselves, they MUST be talking about US!  Now in reality we know that isn't true....suffice it to say that me and my girls can be as sarcastic as the best of them (probably why I love them as much as I do).  Then we started talking about things WE do, ya know, the things that make us REAL (or us).  For starters, I'll talk about Sharon.  We all met at Panera before the pedicure for coffee and breakfast - it was Alicia's 50th birthday!  Sharon was the last to arrive (NOT typical of Sharon - in fact, A-typical!) but when she arrived, she arrived in TYPICAL Sharon fashion.....smiling to the point of laughter, bouncing the entire way doing the happy dance because she was meeting her girlfriends for a day of pampering.  Now, in Sharon's beautiful head, it wasn't because of the pampering, but because of the fellowship.  She is ALL about the social event and most certainly ALL about her friends!  In fact, she is all about several things, which brings me back to the pedicure.  As Sharon and I were talking about everyone else, er I mean ourselves, she started laughing and pulled out a list that a friend wrote about her.  I think that we might have been discussing something where she was CLEARLY right in her mind, and in mine - well yes, I was CLEARLY right.  So Sharon pulled out the list and said, "Here, read this if you want to laugh".....after I read it I asked her if I could make my own list about her and she gladly agreed.  I might just blog about the other list, but who knows....in the end I might add my own!  I'm just happy no one handed me a list.....I'm FAR too sensitive these recent days to handle such a list!  It went something like this:

1.  Sharon is always right.  ALWAYS.
2.  If you ever for even one second think she might be wrong, refer to #1.
3.  Home decorating will NEVER be her priority (but she knows enough to hire someone to do it for her - LOL)
4.  Never rush Sharon....don't even suggest what time to leave
5.  People can cook, but NO one makes it as good as Sharon.
6.  If in doubt, refer rule #1.
7.  In spite of CLEARLY skimming an article, Sharon actually reads EVERY word.
8.  If your not sure, refer rule #1.
9.  Never question the content of meatballs, Sharon's are FAR superior to anything anyone else could make.
10.  Sharon, humble as she is, actually invented GOOGLE.
11.  GOOGLE it (see above)
12.  Other than a single, small private plot of land somewhere in Middletown, Sharon not only knows about it, but has been there!
13.  On the far off chance that you think you are right, see rule #1.
14.  Accept the fact that Sharon knows, AND USES, bigger words than all of us.
15.  Never doubt that, even though certain aspects of our lives are busy, Sharon keeps score.....DONT BE A SLACKER!
16.  Never question potential use or accuracy of an IPhone.
17.  You may think you know fashion.......Sharon KNOWS FASHION!
18.  Critique an improperly fitting pair of pants requires you to adjust your perspective,..they fit great.
19.  If in doubt, see rule #1.


I loved it.  And of course, it made me think of lists for all my friends, but I will limit sharing to Sharon.

1.  Never doubt that Sharon noticed.....she DID.
2.  Never correct the pronunciation of ANY word, she said it right and you wouldn't want to make her mad.
3.  Sharon never forgets, but that is because she is always right.
4.  If you think she isn't, you are wrong and need to see rule #3.
5.  Sharon will get the BEST deal possible, every time!
6.  Google it - there is a coupon out there somewhere.
7.  The kids are the reason there are piles in her house.
8.  Although a psychology MINOR, Sharon actually HAS a degree in "people".
9.  Sharon will NEVER be late....if she is, it definitely wasn't her fault.
10. Sharon has helium in her hand (the "i'll do it" syndrome)
11.  Sharon never forgets a face or a name.
12.  Don't believe me?  See rule 4
13.  Sharon will be the BEST friend you could ever ask for - loyal all the way and will ALWAYS put you first.....but don't cross her line.  Once you do - it is the point of no return.
...........thank God I have never found that line.

In the end, we had a blast - we always do.  I think it is partially because me and my girls can look at our PLETHORA of faults and laugh at them.  We point the fingers to ourselves (as well as each other) and never take offense.  We love each other to pieces and girls....YOU are the reason I am able to get through this thing called life.  You love unconditionally, encourage, rebuke (only when you HAVE to) and are always there for me.

I love you ladies dearly....

.....until next time......

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Killer Spider....


(this was raechyls original post on what she seems to think happened....remember she is 15 and I think loo-loo - loll)

Me: "Mom, pull over."
Mom: "Why?"
Me: "Just pull into a driveway."
Mom: "Rae, we're on a highway."
Me: "I know. Just pull into one."
Mom: "Why?"
Me: "There's a spider on the ceiling."
The next fifteen minutes were full of my mom screaming, almost in tears, me and Adam laughing historically, and, in short, we now have my dads car because we never killed the spider and my mom refused to drive!







This the REAL story:
Rae"mom, pull into a driveway". Me "Rae, we're on a highway. There are no driveways" Rae " mom pull over" me "Rae I can't" rae "mom there's a spider over your head" (and that is where we stop agreeing!). I looked up and saw a furry legged black and tan spider half the size of Texas dangling over my head, progressing toward my face...at which point I started screaming trying to pull over ANYWHERE that didn't kill my kids (cuz I was pretty sure if this thing got me I was already dead!). So for the safety of my children I pulled Into a parking lot (AFTER waiting a good 7 minutes due to the complete rational fear for my children) and did what any other completely normal person would have done. I slowly got out of my car ( after making sure the kids exited safely so it didn't kill them) then proceeded to calculate its size to be about the size of a 50 cent piece. Then it jumped and spun a web as it jumped making me realize it meant business. As I continued to fear for my kids safety, I wrangled the spider to one corner of the car and in a heroic attempt to ensure the safety of my kids I tried to kill it...at which point it disappeared. Because I was concerned for my kids safety I called Eric to meet us in the parking lot to take my car and give me his. I'm pretty sure it was poisonous and IMHO I acted quite nobly.
PS- Rae choked on a garlic knot on the way home and after I did the heimlick maneuver to save her (yes again) she proceeded to say "I hope Adam chokes too cuz he made fun of you, too"
SMH....





Rae's response:


Raechyl Thieringer First of all, I either said on the ceiling or above your head, not on it, second, it was no bigger then a dime, third, you barely made it 30 seconds before pulling over, third, ADAMS STILL IN THE CAR, fourth, it was on the ceiling NOT dangling above your head, fifth, you jumped out of the car while it was moving, you said so yourself, sixth, I WAS THE ONE SPIDER-WRANGLING, seventh, you threw a paper at me and proceeded to back away from the car screaming, "KILL IT, RAE, KILL IT!", eighth, I told you at least six times that it WAS NOT POISONOUS!!!!!, and ninth, there was nothing noble about it. And, btw, when I choked, you were laughing so hard you cried and the only words you could get out were, "Rae, are you ok?" and then you continued to laugh. THAT'S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED!!!!!! Lol



Monday, February 6, 2012

New Ventures...

It has been SO long since I have blogged...and when I think about it, nothing funny is going on in my life, so I don't think to blog.  But I thought I would blog about my new venture....dinner.  Period.

I know.  Simple right?  Not for someone like me.  I simply don't get it.  So every night, in an attempt to meet the hunger needs of my family (no matter how many times I feed them, they ALWAYS seem to get hungry AGAIN!) I attempt a meal.  And my family is here to tell you more times than not it ISN'T pretty (AND doesn't taste good1)  Lately no more boxes.  I used to be frozen meal, or order out, queen.  But my body is showing the ill effects of it, so in an attempt to gather back my health (and my body 20 pounds ago) I am trying to actually cook - from scratch....many times resulting in EPIC failure.  I won't post those here....there are many!

Last week I had chicken and I went to the weight watchers website and saw fried rice....thought IMMEDIATELY of my Cambodian friend and asked her how to make it.  Simple - brown little diced chicken, cook brown rice....scramble a few eggs....dice up carrots, broccoli and any other veggie I could find, add frozen peas and her Asian soy sauce and voila!  A meal....took half an hour (oh, the rice did take 45 minutes but I cooked it at lunch time.)

The family LOVED it....they REALLY loved it.  And now I FINALLY understand why people who love to cook love it....it is such a joy to see your family really enjoy something you made....I mean, I get that every time I bake - my family LOVES everything I bake, but I don't do it all the time simply because it isn't healthy to eat baked goods all the time.  But to see them LOVE a healthy meal....I can't describe it.  It was simply awesome.

So, my solution?  Every Monday we will have fried rice.  Now all I have to do is find 5 more meals for the week and that allows for one night of pizza or who cares what and we will be good to go.  My family is good that way.  I know some families would rather die than eat the same meal every Monday or Tuesday, etc....but thankfully not mine.  They are easy and will look forward to that meal on its prescribed day.  Isn't that the way life is anyway?  Monday, guitar lessons.  Tuesday math club and Volleyball.  Wednesday youth group.  Thursdays whatever....it is the way we live.  Same thing when we grow up.  Monday is work....monday night gym.  Tuesday work - tuesday nigh family game night.  Wednesday more of the same.  So I believe that if I don't give them options, they have no choice but to look forward to the next day....I am sure I would feel differently if I could "whip up" dinner delights every night without much thought, but I am 46 years old and STILL struggling to find 6 meals I can make that taste good and don't overwhelm me!  What can I say?  Welcome to my nightmare.

So, today is fried rice.  Still looking for those other 5 meals, and I am thinking tortellini or spaghetti is another one - after that, I'm back to the drawing board.

Until next time....