Tattoos....

I have been wanting more art....I mean, tattoos, lately.  I know just what I want and where (for the most part) and last week I decided it was high time to go get some foot art.  So off I went.

I wanted words on the side of my right foot.  So of course, I had to pick a font or design of writing, then I had to have the artist lay it out - over and over and over.....change that line - make that smaller - that should be a little higher - no loop there - more loop here....etc.  This poor artist redrew this three words literally a dozen times.  He was very patient while he did.  At last, I had decided it was perfect and the artist went to print out the stencil and was just about to come get me when it occurred to me....

I WROTE THE WRONG WORD -

It isnt No LOOKING back, it is no TURNING back!

I almost had the wrong word tattooed on my foot.  Whew - SO glad I caught that before it went on my foot.  Of course, this meant another half dozen tweaks and we were off.  Perfect.  Right side of right foot done....then I had a thought.  I wonder if he would recolor my cancer ribbon on the top of my left foot, which is 4 years old and kind of losing its vibrancy.  He agreed.....I figured, "since I'm here" right?

A tattoo gets covered for an hour, then uncovered and ointment stays on it for like a week....so I went home with two bandaged feet but no problem.  In an hour, it'll be fine.  I stayed home that night.

The next morning I went to put shoes on and couldn't.  I had the TOP of one foot tattooed and the SIDE of the other foot tattooed.  There isn't a pair of shoes in the world that can accommodate that (and believe me, if there were, I would own them....if it's one thing I have - it's shoes).  I must have put on twenty pair looking for ONE that wouldnt kill either one foot or the other.  Rae's advice was wear two different shoes.....ARE YOU KIDDING ME.  I have a reputation to uphold and it does NOT include two different shoes.....so being the slave to fashion that I am, I took one for the team and decided the left foot was just a recolor so I would wear something that rubbed that rather than the new tattoo....

....by the time I got home, I could no longer walk.  Literally.

The next day my recolored tattoo was SO infected from my rubbing it with dirt and sandals for 8 hours that it was swollen and bleeding.  It is one week and one day later and today is the first day I can wear normal shoes again.  I spent the next 4 days with bandages on my left foot and the last four days with medicine on it and as of today, I can now wear a shoe......first time today....and it isn't pretty.  It is fading away and scabbed and a mess thanks to my inability to worry more about my health than my shoes!  I am hoping that within a month, the color comes back and the scabs heal with no ill effects.

So, note to all:  NEVER TATTOO THE TOP OF ONE FOOT AT THE SAME TIME AS YOU TATTOO THE SIDE OF THE OTHER.....

Until next time....

10 More Useless (but true facts)....

Havent blogged in forever.  Mostly because I no longer have a computer.  But Rae has a Mac (not going there).  Anyway, had some time today when I actually had nothing to listen to and had to think.  I thought about blogging again - Lord knows I have a MILLION stories, but thought about some useless facts and thought you might be interested.  A nice way to ease back into blogging.

1) I'm "snarky"
2) SNARKY - Adj - (of a person, words, or a mood) Critical; cutting; testy.(google)
                         Adj - testy or irritable; short (dictionary.com)
                         Adj - A witty mannerism, personality or bahavior that is a combination of sarcasm,
                                  and cynicism.  Usually accepted as a complimentary term.  Snarky is sometimes
                                  mistaken for a snotty or arrogant attitude.  (urban dictionary)
(I'm going with urban dictionary)
3)  I STILL do not have my Corvette
4)  I only look 46
5)  I have a Paso Fino
5)  Paso Fino translated means Fine Stepper
6)  I still have no idea how to ride my Fine Stepper (but he looks good)
7)  I owned a double horse trailer before I had double horses......(talk to Eric)
8)  I grow extensive vegetables and spices every year and have no idea how to cook....I give them away
9)  I STILL kill every electronic device I have ever owned (Im on my FIFTH iPhone)
10) I grow cumquats.  I do not even know what I cumquat is, but I grow them (give them away too)

So there you have it.  My friends keep me around to keep them stocked with spices, fruits and vegetables....and because I am blonder than I pay to be.

Hey, its a crazy life, but its my crazy life.

Until next time......

NOTE:  I WAS CORRECTED BY MY FRIEND...NOT ONLY DO I NOT KNOW WHAT A 'KUMQUAT' IS BUT APPARENTLY I CANNOT SPELL IT EITHER.