Again, I haven't blogged in forever and I really think it is because my computer no longer lives in my kitchen in a tidy little place that is visible all the time, rather it is a laptop.....convenient? Yes. However I prefer a comfy seat and a separate keyboard. But I digress.....
My family life took a turn for the worse about three years ago when I, against my husbands incredibly accurate gut instinct, allowed my sister to move in to help with the care of my mom. We moved into a mother/daughter home at that time so she could have her own place (yes, I miss my other house, but this is now becoming home). My sister lasted here a little over a year before she broke the one rule we had, causing us to have to ask her to leave. It was a risk to our family to keep her here. Needless to say, it didn't go over well as she had no where to go (she was homeless when she came which is the ONLY reason I begged Eric to allow her to come in the first place). Long story short she "popped" in unannounced, which was incredible since we asked her to not come back.....and viola! There she was in my living room, which caused some problems. OK....LOTS of problems. So much so that we had to hire an attorney to protect our assets as she was making accusations that we were misappropriating my mothers funds (totally not true.) My mom lived with us ten years and we had taken nothing from her in those 10 years. Long story short, she "popped" in two more times and this last time was this summer. My mom almost died while she was here. Ended up in sub acute rehab. My mom lasted there 2 weeks before I got a call from the facility advising me that my sister took my mom AMA (against medical advice) and that was that. GONE. My mom was GONE.....and the worst part yet - NO ONE would tell me where she was other than they were going to CA on Sunday morning (this was Friday night and the facility was the one who told me that). Best description I could give of the feeling and destruction that was left behind was as if my mom was kidnapped. There that morning cause I went to see her. Several hours later she is gone and no one will tell me anything. Via text, we BEGGED Terri to allow us to say goodbye to no avail and by Saturday night were begging to let the kids say goodbye ON HER TERMS and she said no. So 3 weeks have passed and we will never know where my mom is. My sister will not tell us and my daughter went so far as to text Terri to ask how Mina was and to tell Mina she loved her and Terri told Raechyl that I was the reason they "snuck" out because I was stressing my mom out? WTF does that mean? Raechyl (bless her wise soul) told Terri to take responsibility for her own actions for once in her life and asked again to speak with Mina and the last response was "Hun, call me when you're 18 and we'll talk)....she is 16+.
I'll blog about some other things that happened in those 5 weeks preceding this event (some quite funny - other, not so much). but our family is trying to recover from the trauma caused by this event. And to boot, this isn't the first time my mom left me with nothing. When I was 13 she took my sister (then 16) to California and left me behind with my abusive alcoholic father for 2 years with not so much as a phone call just to come home 2 years later. This time she isn't coming home. I am sure I will never see her alive again. I am also pretty sure I won't even be notified when she dies. After 47 years of this family and 20 of caring for my mom (10 in her home and the last 10 in mine) you could imagine what we are dealing with....especially with regards to my children. But God is bigger than all this....I have to keep reminding myself of this. But it has been nearly 3 weeks now and I can honestly say I haven't had too many days without tears and I am pretty sure I will never understand this whole thing nor why it was done nor how someone could to that to someone......not allow them and their children to say goodbye. That is all we asked and were denied again and again.
So for now, we (my immediate family) pull closer, dig deeper, talk more, pray a lot and just try to get thru this most difficult season.
Until next time......
