Well, the picture should say it all! That car might as well be Victoria's and those men might as well be me! Eric took Rae to school this morning because Adam is sick. I guess I should back up one second to last night.
Eric came home and announced that we had no salt, Mr. B had no salt and not a store in NJ had salt! I call a few and finally in a last ditch effort, I call Wal-Mart...and yes, they have 6 bags and a few are opened but not bad...I relay that to Eric and he decides 6 bags was not enough (I thought 6 is better than the 0 we currently have, but he knows best)...OK, we can all do the math...1/2 mile long driveway, ice storm on top of snow and no salt=problem for Arrie.
My Cambodian friend, Victoria (actually, Chorvie) came over. About 1 minute after she left the phone rang and it was her...in a total panic. Now, if you could only imagine a Cambodian (a little high strung) upset and trying to "splane" what happened on my "dry wave" you would see the humor in it all. I got that she was stuck and needed me to go up there. I asked her if she could back down the driveway at which point I hear something like shreiking that sounded like "Are you kid me! I stuck and I can not go back...I can not even go for...I panic..." at which point I get the message...Vic is having a stroke and paralyzed with fear and I will just go get her. I couldn't bear the thought of walking up 1/2 mile mountain to get to her so I risked taking the van. We know right where that went. From my stick point, I walked. When I got to her, she was panting, about to have a full blown panic attack. She "splanes" to me..."I try to get up the drywave and slit and fall down here, slide dare to uh, uh, uh (that is her trying to find an American word) uh, moo da car to not slide and I just couldn't take it-I had to call you for help". I moved her over and got in. The tires began screaming, I start rocking the car back and forth, back and forth...Drive-reverse; Drive-reverse. Ok, not working. I back the car half way down the driveway to where the van got stuck and look over at Vic and she is sweating...literally sweating. I asked her if she was ok (in retrospect I am not sure why I asked her because it started again - that shreiking...the panic stricken shreik of a Cambodian) "No! I not ok. I praying, I scare, Dis car go back and slit here and dare-you just go back around the corner, back up scare me. I cannot do dat...dat why I call you! If I had to dis mysel, I still be sitting in the snowbang waiting for someone to come rescue me!" I told her to get out and get in the van, turn the music up and ignore the whole thing. She did as she was told.
OK, I figure all I need is a little traction to get around the bends and up the steep part and we will be golden...or not. It was "or not". She gets back in and I tell her to drive while I push. She thought I should drive and she should push because "I don't know how to dry dat way". I told her to drive anyway. We were able to rock her out a bit, just to have the car slide backwards into the snowbank again. At which point, I give up and call Eric at work. I told his secretary to go get him out of whatever meeting he was in and put him on the phone, because at this point, I hated the driveway, I hated my van, I hated that Eric would not buy the 6 bags of salt the night before because "it wasn't enough", I hated it all (but still loved Vic because she had me hysterically laughing the whole time). He gets on the phone and I tell him the scene and he says he will be home in 20 minutes. Vic and I sit and wait. But while we wait, Vic starts to tell me a story...now I am debating as whether or not to tell you in "her language" or the english equivelent...to make it easier for you to understand, I will write it in English, but her english would be far better and more amusing...
Bill (her husband) came home during a snowstorm about 3 years ago. Their house is at the top of a hill and he couldn't make it to their house. He parked at the apartments at the bottom of the hill and walked home. When the storm stopped, he bundled up and went to retrieve the car. A while later, he came home, befuttled and with no car. "Someone stole our car" he announced. Vic, not knowing what to do (and if you knew Bill you would already understand that he would have less of an idea what to do than Vic does because Vic does EVERYTHING so Bill has no need to know - and yes, he is American) calls the police. The police come and they fill out a report for the stolen car and the police, upon completion of the report asks them to take him to where the car was stolen so he can be specific and have a diagram of where the car was parked when stolen. Bill and Vic get in her van with the police close in tow. Vic said that she pulled up where Bill told her the car was parked and she saw the license plate of their car and knew at that moment that the car hadn't been stolen, it was just that Bill couldn't find it with all the snow around. She begins to laugh uncontrollably at this point. When she explained it to the cop, he assured her "not to worry, it happens to alot of people". We were screaming and howling with laughter in the car at this point, crying with tears STREAMING down our faces...neither of us able to breathe or talk or do anything except laugh. All I could see in my head was that same cop saying to every other cop he came across that day "you won't believe what some guy did today....haha...he lost his car and filled out a stolen car report...".
At about this point, Eric came home and told me he couldn't pull (or push) her out with his 4WD vehicle...why you ask? DON'T ASK ME...THAT IS WHAT I ASKED HIM! We all got in and drove up to my car at which point he looked at me and began to open his mouth and I quickly said "don't ask"...he said "do you want to back it down or do you want me to?" "I will do it" I replied, "I am master of backing up at this point". We went home, loaded the truck with sand leftover from redoing our sidewalk this summer and off we went. Success! After 2 hours of misery and .5 hours of screaming laughter, Vic was finally freed to go home.
We got home. Got out. He looked at me and said, "blog again?"...."Yup" I answered, then added, "and you KNOW who it will be about!".
So, that is why there will be a "for sale" sign in front of my driveway come spring when I may be able to get up the driveway to go see a realtor. In the meanwhile, I will hand draw one and walk it up tonight as a reminder that "I AM MOVING!!!!!!!!!"
Eric came home and announced that we had no salt, Mr. B had no salt and not a store in NJ had salt! I call a few and finally in a last ditch effort, I call Wal-Mart...and yes, they have 6 bags and a few are opened but not bad...I relay that to Eric and he decides 6 bags was not enough (I thought 6 is better than the 0 we currently have, but he knows best)...OK, we can all do the math...1/2 mile long driveway, ice storm on top of snow and no salt=problem for Arrie.
My Cambodian friend, Victoria (actually, Chorvie) came over. About 1 minute after she left the phone rang and it was her...in a total panic. Now, if you could only imagine a Cambodian (a little high strung) upset and trying to "splane" what happened on my "dry wave" you would see the humor in it all. I got that she was stuck and needed me to go up there. I asked her if she could back down the driveway at which point I hear something like shreiking that sounded like "Are you kid me! I stuck and I can not go back...I can not even go for...I panic..." at which point I get the message...Vic is having a stroke and paralyzed with fear and I will just go get her. I couldn't bear the thought of walking up 1/2 mile mountain to get to her so I risked taking the van. We know right where that went. From my stick point, I walked. When I got to her, she was panting, about to have a full blown panic attack. She "splanes" to me..."I try to get up the drywave and slit and fall down here, slide dare to uh, uh, uh (that is her trying to find an American word) uh, moo da car to not slide and I just couldn't take it-I had to call you for help". I moved her over and got in. The tires began screaming, I start rocking the car back and forth, back and forth...Drive-reverse; Drive-reverse. Ok, not working. I back the car half way down the driveway to where the van got stuck and look over at Vic and she is sweating...literally sweating. I asked her if she was ok (in retrospect I am not sure why I asked her because it started again - that shreiking...the panic stricken shreik of a Cambodian) "No! I not ok. I praying, I scare, Dis car go back and slit here and dare-you just go back around the corner, back up scare me. I cannot do dat...dat why I call you! If I had to dis mysel, I still be sitting in the snowbang waiting for someone to come rescue me!" I told her to get out and get in the van, turn the music up and ignore the whole thing. She did as she was told.
OK, I figure all I need is a little traction to get around the bends and up the steep part and we will be golden...or not. It was "or not". She gets back in and I tell her to drive while I push. She thought I should drive and she should push because "I don't know how to dry dat way". I told her to drive anyway. We were able to rock her out a bit, just to have the car slide backwards into the snowbank again. At which point, I give up and call Eric at work. I told his secretary to go get him out of whatever meeting he was in and put him on the phone, because at this point, I hated the driveway, I hated my van, I hated that Eric would not buy the 6 bags of salt the night before because "it wasn't enough", I hated it all (but still loved Vic because she had me hysterically laughing the whole time). He gets on the phone and I tell him the scene and he says he will be home in 20 minutes. Vic and I sit and wait. But while we wait, Vic starts to tell me a story...now I am debating as whether or not to tell you in "her language" or the english equivelent...to make it easier for you to understand, I will write it in English, but her english would be far better and more amusing...
Bill (her husband) came home during a snowstorm about 3 years ago. Their house is at the top of a hill and he couldn't make it to their house. He parked at the apartments at the bottom of the hill and walked home. When the storm stopped, he bundled up and went to retrieve the car. A while later, he came home, befuttled and with no car. "Someone stole our car" he announced. Vic, not knowing what to do (and if you knew Bill you would already understand that he would have less of an idea what to do than Vic does because Vic does EVERYTHING so Bill has no need to know - and yes, he is American) calls the police. The police come and they fill out a report for the stolen car and the police, upon completion of the report asks them to take him to where the car was stolen so he can be specific and have a diagram of where the car was parked when stolen. Bill and Vic get in her van with the police close in tow. Vic said that she pulled up where Bill told her the car was parked and she saw the license plate of their car and knew at that moment that the car hadn't been stolen, it was just that Bill couldn't find it with all the snow around. She begins to laugh uncontrollably at this point. When she explained it to the cop, he assured her "not to worry, it happens to alot of people". We were screaming and howling with laughter in the car at this point, crying with tears STREAMING down our faces...neither of us able to breathe or talk or do anything except laugh. All I could see in my head was that same cop saying to every other cop he came across that day "you won't believe what some guy did today....haha...he lost his car and filled out a stolen car report...".
At about this point, Eric came home and told me he couldn't pull (or push) her out with his 4WD vehicle...why you ask? DON'T ASK ME...THAT IS WHAT I ASKED HIM! We all got in and drove up to my car at which point he looked at me and began to open his mouth and I quickly said "don't ask"...he said "do you want to back it down or do you want me to?" "I will do it" I replied, "I am master of backing up at this point". We went home, loaded the truck with sand leftover from redoing our sidewalk this summer and off we went. Success! After 2 hours of misery and .5 hours of screaming laughter, Vic was finally freed to go home.
We got home. Got out. He looked at me and said, "blog again?"...."Yup" I answered, then added, "and you KNOW who it will be about!".
So, that is why there will be a "for sale" sign in front of my driveway come spring when I may be able to get up the driveway to go see a realtor. In the meanwhile, I will hand draw one and walk it up tonight as a reminder that "I AM MOVING!!!!!!!!!"
