Yup, that's me. Not on the toilet...just the potty mouth. Now, I do NOT make it a habit to swear. In fact, I make it a point NOT to. My kids have never heard a swear word in our house. And the words they have heard, we can thank the schools and world for that. With that said...A friend borrowed my car for a day or two. Which is fine - especially since we had a snow/ice storm again, and we all know what happens in my driveway when that happens...and we know how graciously I deal with it. So, I was driving our jeep - 4WD with a plow on the front and a salter on the back. No big one. It is actually kind of fun driving it (and plowing when I need to). I dropped the kids off at school and looked down and saw it...the gas guage light on indicating there was no gas...of course. Now, not only does Eric always call when he leaves the house, but he also ALWAYS leaves me cars with NO gas - ALWAYS! Now, his percentage rate is not quite 98% on this one, but it isn't far behind. So, by the time I get the kids out and leave, I forgot the gas until I got to my driveway. No big one. I will get gas when I pick them up.
So, off I go. 2:30 and time to get the kids. As I am driving I know I should get gas on the way but would have been late to get them. So, I waited. By the time the kids got in the car I was stressed..."I am going to run out of gas right here and will just want to die!" But by the grace of God, I didn't. So I hurry to the gas station and pull in to get gas before the engine dies and...that is when it happened.
I took my foot off the clutch before I took it out of gear when I wanted to stop and the car lurched forward, nearly taking down the gas pump and banging so loud when the transmission suddenly stopped and the car stalled. That is when I blurted out...SH_T! My 12 year old was in the front with me and my 6 year old in the back. Raechyl (12) looked at me, startled, and grins as she says "Potty Mouth!" I have wondered since then why the grin. Could it be because she caught me (for once) doing something wrong instead of me catching her? Could it be because she wanted ammunition for another point in time? Was it simply that the whole scene was so ridiculous that it made her grin? Anyway, she called me on it IMMEDIATELY. And, once Adam heard that, he starts right in..."What did mommy say? Did she say the "S" word? (which FYI is 'stupid' ) Did she say the 'mother of all bad words' (which I should explain)...
In our home, the mother of all bad words (to a 6 year old is "FUDGE". Have you seen 'A Christmas Story'? With Ralphie who wanted a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas? He was trying to help his nutty father change a flat tire and when he dropped the lug nuts, he blurts out...well, as the narrator goes on to say, he said the 'mother of all bad words'...and says FFFFUDGE. We all know that is not what he really said, but Adam is quite literal, so from the first time he watched the movie (several years as we watch it every year!) "FUDGE" is the mother of all bad words.
So, Raechyl tells him I did not say that word, I said another naughty word. So, my blood pressure went so darn high at almost taking down the gas pump and being embarassed by my swearing and them rebuking me, that I had to check my pulse to make sure I was still alive.
We went home from there...silent. Adam asked me if I was going to say any more potty words and I told him "I can assure you I won't" at which point Raechyl piped in..."Mom, I am sure you would have said that this morning..." Touche! So I drove home with my tail between my legs...
Now as you could imagine, I was happy for the whole thing to be over. But it wasn't. Raechyl and Adam made sure that they told each person they saw (like my mom, Eric and their friends at school I am sure). "My mom has a potty mouth".
So, it is finally over. Today is Sunday - fresh start. They are over the teasing me and I am over the trauma. I have my car back and the jeep has been put away. No more clutches, no more stalling, no more naughty words...for now anyway!
