"See ya, Kristen!", I said as I walked my girlfriend out. I had a little extra skip in my step Friday. Kristen was leaving for vacation the next morning and she stopped by to get her daughter from my house. She had no dinner and I was able to give her enough for dinner and fruit for dessert - a rarity for me to even have food for dinner. We have all heard my cooking stories! As I walked down the front steps, I saw it. My horror totally overtook me as I gasped for air! There they were - in full force....Malacosoma disstria Hubner - A.K.A...tent catepillars. All over my plum tree...and my weeping cherry...and who knows what else. I nearly fell down. As I stumbled and gasped for air, Kristen spun around to see if she needed to call 911. As she picked me up off the ground I explained the cause of my near death. She told me she just called her tree guy and he was coming in the morning. He told her she was "a day late and a dollar short" but would come anyway. I don't remember the tent catepillars in the spring - I was thinking fall. And they had not only "camped" out on my trees, they were all hatched! So what did I do? No tree guy for me - no siree Bob! Me - I head right for the heavy artillery...TORCH.
Now I have only torched them once last year. This very effective method was created by my husband who is one of the most creative people I know. I know the torch is blue and that Eric uses it for his hockey equipment. Now, hockey equipment is a life staple in our house. I think I could torch the hockey sticks and change the blades myself having seen Eric do it a thousand times. All I know is that the torch is blue and has a red thing on it to start it. So off to the garage I ran - full speed ahead. Shoot - can't find it in the garage....plan B. Eric's work room in the basement. Shoot - cannot find it there. Plan C (which is pretty amazing that I even have a plan. My plan is always to find someone with a plan) Find the hockey equipment. Whew - at least I know where to find that. I go rummaging thru the bag, which for anyone who is married to a hockey player knows the stench that is housed in that hockey bag...for some reason hockey players don't think they need to wash hockey equipment. And there it was...that blue tank and no top! So I rummage some more and there it was - the screw on top with that little red thing. I screwed it on and nothing. Push that red thing and nothing happened. Maybe I didn't screw it in right or maybe there is no gas. So I unscrewed it and that is when it happened. A distinctive hissing started. I thought that cannot be good. BUT it DID mean there was gas in this thing. What to do? Run outside with the thing so that if I blew, I wouldn't kill the kids inside. Outside seemed like a safer place to me. I screwed it back on and tried again. And that is when I remembered Eric's instructions..."R, turn that little black knob. That turns the gas on. Then when you hear that hissing sound, push that little red button right there and you will hear a click and a flame will shoot out right there". Nice and simple. Turn the black thing and wait for a hissing noise. Push that little red thing and hope you don't kill yourself and everything in a 500 yard radius. Eureka - we have flame. Off to the tree I ran.
Now, Eric's method is so effective because you burn everything in sight. The downfall is that the tent and all the little creepy crawly things in it fall down and then you have to burn them on the ground...which for most yards isn't an issue cause most people have grass. But we have manicured beds with pine bark nuggets under the trees....wood chips and torch...you do the math. It isn't pretty.
So, I turn the torch up as high as it could go and I went to town. I torched everything I could reach. They had three huge tents in this little tree and the things were all outside the tent (as well as about a million inside the tent). The tents burn quickly and easily....the worms - not so much. They can live thru an incredible amount of heat. They were dropping to the ground like dead leaves falling off a tree in a storm. And I kept torching until the tree was free of those little critters...but now I have the ground issue to deal with. So, I started torching the ground and created a little fire here and there...the lesser of two evils if you ask me. Now, Raechyl sees the smoke and runs outside to see me with a blow torch burning everything in sight. She, in a panic, asks me what I am doing and as I explain, she starts lecturing me on why I shouldn't kill what God has created. She once cried in a supermarket as Eric picked live lobster for dinner when she found out we were going to boil and eat them. I didn't much care what she thought right now. All I knew was that I was a girl on a mission and my mission was to obliterate everything in sight. So, I have successfully killed all the worms on one tree, but the ground was on fire. So I make Raechyl get a hose and start putting out fires.
On to the next tree. I pulled a branch of the weeping cherry tree and that is when I screamed and ran. There wasn't enough gas in the entire world that would kill the billion worms that were out of the tent and ALL over the tree branch that I pulled down. So I ran past Raechyl with the hose straight in the front door - completely wigged out.
As Eric came home, he questioned why the front yard was on fire and Raechyl was out there with a hose. I explained and advised him that he needed to go out with a saw and lop the entire top of the tree down. He said he would tomorrow...well, tomorrow would be too late. I made him go out at that minute, in his work clothes (because that was easier for him than listening to me freak out about the bugs) and got a saw and lopped it off. When he came inside I asked what he had done with the infected part of the tree he sawed off...
"I threw it in the woods"...need I say more. If we thought we had worms before that, consider 6 acres of woods and a million bugs that live on trees....
Until next time...
Now I have only torched them once last year. This very effective method was created by my husband who is one of the most creative people I know. I know the torch is blue and that Eric uses it for his hockey equipment. Now, hockey equipment is a life staple in our house. I think I could torch the hockey sticks and change the blades myself having seen Eric do it a thousand times. All I know is that the torch is blue and has a red thing on it to start it. So off to the garage I ran - full speed ahead. Shoot - can't find it in the garage....plan B. Eric's work room in the basement. Shoot - cannot find it there. Plan C (which is pretty amazing that I even have a plan. My plan is always to find someone with a plan) Find the hockey equipment. Whew - at least I know where to find that. I go rummaging thru the bag, which for anyone who is married to a hockey player knows the stench that is housed in that hockey bag...for some reason hockey players don't think they need to wash hockey equipment. And there it was...that blue tank and no top! So I rummage some more and there it was - the screw on top with that little red thing. I screwed it on and nothing. Push that red thing and nothing happened. Maybe I didn't screw it in right or maybe there is no gas. So I unscrewed it and that is when it happened. A distinctive hissing started. I thought that cannot be good. BUT it DID mean there was gas in this thing. What to do? Run outside with the thing so that if I blew, I wouldn't kill the kids inside. Outside seemed like a safer place to me. I screwed it back on and tried again. And that is when I remembered Eric's instructions..."R, turn that little black knob. That turns the gas on. Then when you hear that hissing sound, push that little red button right there and you will hear a click and a flame will shoot out right there". Nice and simple. Turn the black thing and wait for a hissing noise. Push that little red thing and hope you don't kill yourself and everything in a 500 yard radius. Eureka - we have flame. Off to the tree I ran.
Now, Eric's method is so effective because you burn everything in sight. The downfall is that the tent and all the little creepy crawly things in it fall down and then you have to burn them on the ground...which for most yards isn't an issue cause most people have grass. But we have manicured beds with pine bark nuggets under the trees....wood chips and torch...you do the math. It isn't pretty.
So, I turn the torch up as high as it could go and I went to town. I torched everything I could reach. They had three huge tents in this little tree and the things were all outside the tent (as well as about a million inside the tent). The tents burn quickly and easily....the worms - not so much. They can live thru an incredible amount of heat. They were dropping to the ground like dead leaves falling off a tree in a storm. And I kept torching until the tree was free of those little critters...but now I have the ground issue to deal with. So, I started torching the ground and created a little fire here and there...the lesser of two evils if you ask me. Now, Raechyl sees the smoke and runs outside to see me with a blow torch burning everything in sight. She, in a panic, asks me what I am doing and as I explain, she starts lecturing me on why I shouldn't kill what God has created. She once cried in a supermarket as Eric picked live lobster for dinner when she found out we were going to boil and eat them. I didn't much care what she thought right now. All I knew was that I was a girl on a mission and my mission was to obliterate everything in sight. So, I have successfully killed all the worms on one tree, but the ground was on fire. So I make Raechyl get a hose and start putting out fires.
On to the next tree. I pulled a branch of the weeping cherry tree and that is when I screamed and ran. There wasn't enough gas in the entire world that would kill the billion worms that were out of the tent and ALL over the tree branch that I pulled down. So I ran past Raechyl with the hose straight in the front door - completely wigged out.
As Eric came home, he questioned why the front yard was on fire and Raechyl was out there with a hose. I explained and advised him that he needed to go out with a saw and lop the entire top of the tree down. He said he would tomorrow...well, tomorrow would be too late. I made him go out at that minute, in his work clothes (because that was easier for him than listening to me freak out about the bugs) and got a saw and lopped it off. When he came inside I asked what he had done with the infected part of the tree he sawed off...
"I threw it in the woods"...need I say more. If we thought we had worms before that, consider 6 acres of woods and a million bugs that live on trees....
Until next time...
