Prescriptions - How did this become such a thorn in my side?

This wasn't even supposed to post...I didn't even write anything. I actually had some intention but I have been up way too long so this will have to wait another day or two. It will all make sense then.
Now I don't know about y'all, but our insurance runs out in December and starts all over again in January which means the deductable starts all over again. Those $35 prescriptions are now full price. So in January I went to pick up all my, my moms and Adams prescriptions that all happen to come due at the same time. I handed them 1900 prescriptions and told them I would come back for them later in the day. Now mind you, I am always the one who picks up the prescriptions but usually a few here then a few there and it had been a year since I last picked everything up at the same time.

I went food shopping. Went home, unloaded the groceries. Went to Costco. Came home again. Picked the kids up at school and drove the Brennan children home to their house and my kids at my house and went back out to pick up the prescriptions. The pharmacist puts the bagS (yes I did make that word plural) in front of me and has me sign for them all....run credit card thru the little slot and wait....and wait.....and wait.....

OH, finally. It rings up and she handed me a receipt to sign to the order of nearly $1800.00 I think the exact amount was something like $1782.00 (choke, spit out the gum that just slid to the back of my throat and choked me). And these are necessary meds - anti-seizure meds for me...pain/high blood pressure/bladder crap for my mom....prevacid for adam to avoid surgery and some as a result of a surgery I had a few years ago. HOLY HEAT BATMAN! I literally took the bag, walked three feet and sat down on the chair to catch my breath. Now, I complain about many things I am sure, but all I could think about are the people out there just like me - serious medical needs and they cannot get drugs to prolong their lives....what do they do? Oh, that's right....they now have Barak Obama to pass a bill so that we can pay for them. I forgot that one. He will be sure to take from the upper middle class in America and feed the poor (many by choice) to "straighten" out this country. As for me, I think it is just fine if people were not so damn greedy (AIG) to name one and all the other mortgage companies that wanted more and more. VP's making 7 figure bonuses and the company is tanking@

Oh, see, there it is again.....A.D.D. Wasn't I just talking about a pharmacy and now am ending with Barak Obama's "plan" to save the county from hunger and strife? Oh well....you all know me well enough by now to understand. The crux of it all was that I actually had to check my pulse to make sure I was still standing and alive when they gave me that bill!

It was, as a matter of fact, it was beating at about 190 bpm....a "tad" high but I hadn't fallen flat out yet so took advantage of the situation and headed at a full sprint to my car. Took the receipts when I got home and said to Eric, "Hi Honey...how was your day" and his response was "what happened?"...."Nothing (I add) I just wanted to see how your day went". He says "Spit it out....what did you do? Did you hit something with the car? Did you get a ticket? Did you leave one of our kids somewhere and you can't remember where? Just tell me". So I hand him the 27 inch long receipt from the pharmacy at which point he looks at me, looks down and walks away silent. I am never sure about that silence thing....good or bad? Good that he didn't come unglued, but bad that clearly he was hit so offguard that he couldn't figure anything intelligable to mutter. Either way, he is over it. I am over it. Each time I take a pill my mind says "$2.35 for that one, $1.25 for that one, etc"

until next time...

Cranky!

Yup, that's me. I am not quite sure why, I just am. No church, no (mandatory) teen/parent youth group meeting today at 1:30, no packing for Rae's national youth leadership trip in a mere few days, no fun, no nothing. I really wonder why.

Went to the doc yesterday...ran the usual blood work. We are not quite sure why I have been tanking lately. Not very interested in much of anything the last few weeks. One would think that I would be ready to have a party considering the excellent results of my biopsy - nothin!

Kids are awesome. They don't need much and understand mommy. Since my surgery in 2006, my body just isn't the same. Vitamin deficiencies all over the place - fatigue is a regular thing with me and there are some other complications that I will have to live with as a result of the surgery, but hey, I have my life back. It was do or die, so I did. And whatever the side effects are, I have my life back again and for that, I am grateful. I guess, in retrospect, I have so much to be grateful for. So why the dumps?

I say....Vitamin D need. I need to get some good old sunshine (other than my kids faces that is). Some heat and Vitamin D on this ghostly white skin of mine. I tan pretty easily and get pretty golden but cannot keep a tan to save my life. So, my skin is, by this time of the year, looking much like a roadmap that spans the United States. Tomorrow going to have lunch with Vic - she is always good for a laugh....good for my soul.

So, I thought I would just complain a bit here since I am sure no one else is really interested. Great thing about the computer, it doesn't talk back, it doesn't have a mind of it's own and it never complains about what is said or not said. Sort of like my boy, Buddy. He knows when I need "happy", he knows when I need "speed", he knows when I just need a furry shoulder to lean on and talk to. He doesn't judge me, he kisses me on command (what other guy is willing to do that?), he loves anything I give to him, he is always happy to see me, even if I am grumpy, he is patiend, kind and sometimes even makes me laugh with his antics. Maybe that is where I will spend my afternoon tomorrow. Lunch with Vic and barn with Buddy....sounds like a plan.

But...you know what they say about the best laid plans....(they DO say something right? For the life of me, I cannot remember what it IS that they say, but think they DO say something)...

Until next time...

And the winner is.....

Me! The biopsy report is negative. Wow. What a weird thing to go through. See, so what really IS so what. So many people prayed for me, thank you all who did. I pray that God blesses you abundantly. I am not feeling much humor this morning at 5 somthing am. Sharon doesn't have to shave her pretty little head, Alicia can eat again, Karen can sleep, Kelly can...hhhmmm...what can Kelly do (kidding). Kelly can keep right on loving me. Jan can stop crying. The gammet of reactions was humbling. And for Ev...Well, Ev, you can keep on praying that God gives it all to you, but my friend, I am right back at ya! You have had enough and our God is good and I pray (for you) that He does NOT give any more to you. You have had your fair share of cancer (and then some) and you better stop praying that darn prayer, my friend!

As for my day today....well, it started well over an hour ago. I caught up on a little reading, my Love Dare I started again. I did my daily devotional and think I need to get to burning those Beth More Job CD's for Sharon. They HAVE been sitting here for quite some time. I am going on a small field trip with Adam's class today, Kat is going to be an honorary member of ACS today and tonight is Heather's baby shower...that makes me think. Perhaps I should actually get a gift for her. Maybe I will make an "E" for Elias, even though I am under STRICT obligation NOT to make Elias an "E" because Juli is the only one who can have one (says Juli)!

That's my update. Nothing funny happening in this head this morning. As a matter of fact, there is nothing much happening in this head AT ALL this morning.

Until next time...

"So What" vs. "Who Cares"

This was a big one for me. My "so what" attitude lately thru this whole thing became a game that Satan and I were playing. "So What" if it is cancer? So What. Is that so bad? Will it change anything? But then that became a thought of "does so what mean who cares"? Do I care about this life and my family? Could I really be so selfish that I don't care? I knew that God was telling me it isn't what I think, but what I know. And I know that regardless of what I think, I KNOW God has this whole thing figured out...so what? But after some mind games, Satan actually had me believing that "so what" meant "who cares"....

And that is where Sharon comes in. She is my prayer partner and my sister. I finally told her this morning what my struggles were. Would I care if the test result was positive? Would I care if it wasn't? I told her that I thought I went from so what to who cares and that is when she set me straight. She asked me when God's peace that surpasses all comprehension turned into who cares?! Isn't it amazing how Satan will even use God's peace to twist into something else. She was right. It WAS God's peace that surpasses all comprehension. Nothing more, nothing less. And, as far as who cares....they are two very different things. She also set me straight there. So what IS God's peace....Who cares is Satan.

So, in the end, I have learned masses of lessons here. I am sure it is nothing, which brings me back to "so what!". But the imporant thing is not what I think, but what I know. What I know is God is my King, He IS good, His peace DOES pass ALL comprehension and Satan pretty much sucks! So....Who cares about him? Certainly not me!

Until next time....

Stereo What?

When I first heard the word stereotactic, I thought, "stereo what?" It is the radiologist's word for fancy equipment. Digital imaging, I think is layman's terms. Today I got to experience the fancy shmancy equipment first hand. I went to have a "stereotactic biopsy" of my right breast. No big one, so no sweat. Ah, I just realized what that sounds like and that, for those who know me, the no big one may be confused with my boob. What I actually meant was that the procedure was no big one. And come to think of it, neither is my boob. Anyway, they lay you on a table that has a hole in it. Your boob goes thru the hole and they raise the table overhead and they do the biopsy from underneath you.

I came prepared. I wanted to make sure I didn't lose any more boob tissue than I had to so I labeled my boobs...Left one says "not me" and the right one says "me". When I got all robed up, they came in to discuss the procedure with me. They said they had to "mark" the breast beforehand. I opened my gown and the lady nearly fell flat laughing. When I was dressing this morning I figured they might need a laugh this morning and so that I didn't take unnecessary risk in losing one mm more than I had to (afterall, they ARE small and perhaps one mm might matter) I marked them. She asked if she could bring someone in to see and after ensuring it wasn't a man, I agreed. She brought another nurse in and asked me to open my gown, I happily agreed. She laughed so hard and said she would love to take a picture to keep. We all laughed and decided that the picture might land us in jail, so we declined the photo op.

While I was waiting in the room to have the procedure done, I was looking at that table with the hole in it. All I could think of was that the hole was the size of a soccer ball. "I might fall through that hole" I thought. Four of my boobs could fit in there. I pondered all the possibilities from falling through the hole to having boobs that big. Ok, so I can dream, can't I? When the radiologist came in, I told her what my mind had been thinking and she told me that she has actually had to "squeeze" a few boobs through the hole - man, that just isn't right. NO ONE should have boobs that big.

They did the procedure - not a big deal. They take a hollow needle and insert it to the desired location and while under the skin, the needle does a clockwise circle taking tissue samples from 360 degrees and they do that twice, totalling 24 samples. Then they place a titanium marker in. When you are done, they do a compression wrapping and give you a, how shall I say it...less than attractive compression bra that needs to remain on for 48 hours. Of course, they give you post-procedure rules....no water for 24 hours, no baths for 3 days, ice packs for 2 days and after that, head for up to one month, bruising, swelling (see, there IS an advantage to this procedure and seeing it from the swelling point of view, I was wishing they had done both my boobs) and no sexual activity for 3 days...not that I even thought about it. The nurses were funny. They said that they tell all their patients, "get naked, except for that granny compression bra you are wearing, and go to bed with just that. It will ensure your husband will NOT want to have sex for at leaast the next 3 days".

All in all, it was fine. We all had some good laughs and I am now back in the comfort of my own home...one big boob smashed under this compression wrap, getting bigger (and more sore) by the minute. I have a green light to do nothing for 48 hours. In fact, I am not allowed to do anything that required a brain wave for that long. I wonder why all the rules and assume it is all safety...CYA I think it is called. (cover your a..)

So, now I go back to playing the waiting game. I am at this point, a champion player. Results by Monday morning. Don't you have to wonder why not Friday morning....just tack on that extra 2 days. Probably more CYA. Just in case. I would guess I will know by the end of the week, but "just in case" they say Monday. My only one concern is that the marker is so deep that they cannot even see it with a traditional mammography view. The location is in the muscle that literally covers the chest bone. If it should be something, it is a little too close to bone for my comfort, but I am going with it is still nothing until it is something.

Until next time...

Long Winded

I was just thinking that I write like I talk. I tend to be long winded. I think all the females in my family were...then came Rae. She is quiet as a church mouse and Adam is the babbling brook. Perhaps that is why my mom and I butt heads. She talks ALL day long and my ears actually start to hurt. I feel like my brains are slowly leaking out my ears. Maybe they are - that would explain the memory lapse and my blonde moments. I thought I would write a short winded blog this time (already off to a bad start).

I just want to thank all my friends who have been so supportive. I think one of my girlfriends actually lost sleep, another already was ready to shave her head and yet another is going to fast and pray on Tuesday while another, who I wouldn't expect this reaction from, began to cry her little eyes out. This all made me think...maybe I should be worried? I'm not and I wonder why. I mean, I had one crying bout, but that was it...and really it was because I fell down my stairs - ALL the way down the stairs. The shaving of the head was pretty funny because I think she would actually be just as beautiful bald...like the 80's rock star (can't remember her name). I could NEVER do that....NEVER. So, thanks to all you girlfriends who continue to support me - even when I have my blonde moments, even when I go on sabbatical, even when I am cranky and especially when I face the unknown. Well, unknown to everyone but me - :0). I am feeling much better since the doc said the features look benign to him, regardless of what the digital things say....

So, my dear friends, thank you and I hope I can give you all just a small part of what you continue to give to me! Love you all very much!

The Waiting Game

OK, for the record, not changing the font worked...whew!

We have all played this game, right? My friend is playing it now, waiting for her son to come from Africa...another friend is playing it waiting for a doctor report...neither is fun. And, who made this game up? Why is it called a waiting GAME. If you ask me, it is no fun at all. Game somehow indicates to me FUN...right? This game isn't so much fun. Why don't the call, say, cooking a game. We are playing the cooking game, afterall, some people find that fun. Or what about the cleaning. We are playing the cleaning game. Or perhaps the driving game. That is one we ALL play. Drive here, drive there. None of those things are called a game, though many of us find each one fun...or maybe not so fun. More reason to call them "games" like the waiting game. OK, so I am playing that waiting game now myself. I think somehow the word "waiting" makes us feel not in control....wait....don't pass go....don't collect 200$. But now, I am really good playing the game. Something just came to me. Maybe you have to get good at the game in order for it not to be a bother. Like Word Challenge. Not so much fun in the beginning cause I couldn't make two words...now, I am good at it and really think it is fun (though it HAS led to Word Challenge Anonymous). So, since I have played this game so much in the last two years, perhaps now I can see that it isn't so bad. 18 months of waiting for docs to diagnose my son....and eventually they did. So, during the entire time, we played the waiting game. Hospital here, doc there, specialist here, hospital there...and so on. So we wait upon God. He gets us through. And he did. Now, it is my turn to wait....and since I have played this game so many times before, it really isn't so bad now.

No more nerves, no more doom and gloom...no more pesimisticism (is that even a word?)...no more dwelling. Nope, just go on with my day. It took a week for me to figure the game out this time. Seems I had not played in awhile and must have forgotten what the rules are, but they came flooding back yesterday. Just put your pieces on the board (of life), know the rules (God is in control) and wait until it is your turn to go. That easy. Boy, we can really complicate things, even games. We can argue about the rules, we can argue about what piece we have to play with, we can argue about how long the game lasts, we can even want to quit, but it really doesn't have to be that hard. Just wait. Take the piece God gave you, thank Him that He even gave you a piece at all! Know the rules (pray and leave the rest up to Him) and enjoy this game called life. It really IS good. Oh yes, and one more thing....winners never quit and quitters never win. In my mind, I have already won this game. God is on my side and He has the game all figured out. I am knowing that Tuesday when I go visit my doc, there will be nothing but great news - no matter what the news is because God is good! And for the record, the doc (and I) think it is nothing anyway! See, just another little test (or move) in this game we call life! Give it to God, let Him teach you the rules...it is hard to play a game if you have no idea how to play. As for me, I have learned the hard way, but I understand the game now, know the rules and even know who the King is.

Until the next time......

Just when you thought it was safe to go outside...

OK, first of all, this is my posting where I did not change font...wondering what it will look like.

Rae has mono, home for what seems like a year. Adam was sick, throwing up, fever and stayed home Monday and Tuesday from school. So, just when I thought it was safe to go outside, Adam gets sick. Now, quite frankly I am sick and tired of my family being sick and tired. What is up with this? I feel like a plague somehow got in here and I cannot get rid of it...the saving grace is that Mina has stayed well. So, in my infinite wisdom, I keep Adam home on Tuesday, just to be sure. I take Rae to the doc with me to have some stuff done and thinking she would be fine, because afterall, we were just going to walk in, get done and walk out. Well, just as my life is, I couldn't figure out where to park. It was in a hospital and this hospital is HUGE and like a maze. I know exactly where I have to go, I just can't figure out where to park. First lot - for JCP&L employees only - next....for employees of Mo-Town Hosp only....next....and as we go from parking lot to parking lot, we end up at the back of the hospital (which I know all to well) and I decide I will park at Goryeb Children's Hospital. OK, how hard can it be to go from back to front of this place, right? Well, let me tell you....stinkin' hard!

We go in, take the "Franklin" elevators...now, you KNOW when the elevators have "location names" you are in for big trouble...especially if you are like me and can get lost in a mall. Take Franklin elevators up to fourth floor cause that is where I need to go. Out...nope...not here. Go to nurses station...How do I get to.....Back to level "C" (yup, there are about 9 levels) and get out in what looks like an abandoned hallway - a bit scary for a mom and her 12 year old daughter. Walk, walk, walk at which point I am not even sure I could find the Franklin elevator anymore. Oh good - here is a man to ask....how do I get to.....and he starts "well, part of the building is new and part is old...you can't get to certain places in the hospital from all the elevators...if you want Carol Simon Center lobby, you take the Jefferson Elevators right up to the lobby..."Is it the fourth floor (cause that is where I have to go)?"..."Well, no....this is the fourth floor"...Now I am thinking fourth floor of what! I have been to the fourth floor TWICE (floor 4 and level c) and STILL cannot get to the damn center....he goes on "well, if you want the lobby, it isn't actually the fourth floor. You can follow me and I will take you to the right elevator and you go up to Lobby and then they will tell you where to go". And we are off again. Down what is a labarynth of hallways to yet another elevator and he tells us where to go...."Thank You" I said but thought I am halfway to hell right now. OK, get out at lobby of Carol Simon Center - WHEW! I look over at Raech and know she is my ONLY chance of ever finding my car again, and she is now looking all pasty white and tanking again...."You OK?" I asked...."not really - I feel crummy"...

Well, of course she does. She has mono and I have dragged her all over kingdom come! Get to the desk....can you tell me how to get to blah blah blah testing...."OK, get on THAT elevator (yes, yet another elevator - this one had no name) and go down to the fourth floor"....WHAT??!!! This is the THIRD fourth floor and I am STILL not on the fourth floor. Longer story short, I find where I need to go, travel back through kingdom come and eventually find our car. By this time, Rae's eyes are rolling back in her head, there is druel dripping out the side of her mouth, my head feels like a jackhammer and I did not get the results I had hoped for. We sit a minute and catch our breath. I just had to chuckle. You have to pay for parking and I NEVER carry money on me...credit cards galore...just no cash and you guessed it....they don't take credit cards. Oh, by the way, at the Simon Center they told me that if I had pulled up in front, they vallet park my car FOR FREE (note to self - don't do this again). Dig through my purse and find the money and head home. I'm telling you, you can't make this stuff up...

At that moment, I realize a few things...1) I am not in control of anything....2) There really is a hell and it is called Morristown Memorial Hospital....3) All that we had hoped to get done in a few hours would not happen cause we have now been gone 4 hours and are still at the hospital....4) Tests stink and finally, my number one answer is...."Just when you think it is safe to go outside....your other kid gets sick, you think the other one is well enough to go fourteen feet down a hallway and it turns out to be 16 miles, your optimistic day just went to hell in a handbag and you come home just to find out that your little guy who was just too sick to go to school has cut his own hair because he was "bored"! That's right....Adam cut his hair while we were gone because "Mommy, I got bored"....There it is in a nutshell. My life...crazy....unbalanced....flying by the seat of our pants...but as someone once said, "But it is MY life" and I wouldn't trade this life for anything!

Until next time....

Home Bound

OK, first of all, every time I start a new blog I change the font and size to what I used the last time and end up wondering...I wonder what would happen if I didn't do that...would it remember and do it for me? Hhhhmmmm...I think I will see next time I blog.

I have been home bound for the last week. Rae has mono and is potentially out of school all next week as well. Now, I don't know why I am stressing over this...doesn't seem she is. I keep thinking "OMG, how much homework am I gonna get stuck cramming in at night and how many tests are we going need to study and what about dinner". There it was again...A.D.D.

Ok, so she will be a bit behind. Ok, so I will need to spend a lifetime helping her study for tests, help with the homework, sign papers, cook dinners. Not so bad, right? She has a tough curriculum anyway and missing a day can be hard, much less nearly 2 weeks. And to boot, she is slated to go to Washington D.C. the last week in March for a Youth Leadership Conference, which means she will miss ANOTHER week of school. But, then when she gets back, it will be spring break. Hhmmm...wonder if I can sneak away to Jamaica for the break? I wonder if anyone will even notice I am gone. Back to not so bad, right? Well, that is what all my friends would say. In fact, I cannot even think of one who would even be thinking about it, much less stressing over it. But, here I am blogging about it.

Actually I think I am blogging about it because I have been home for a week now and there isn't a darn thing to blog about...no snow on the driveway, birds are quiet, Eric is working, mom is sleeping. Wow, my life is pathetic the last week. Not a single funny thing has happened. That puzzles me....can't think of a thing. I wonder if that is because nothing funny actually happened or because I am brain dead and just cannot remember....I will go with the former, just to play it safe.

Where am I going with this? Absolutely nowhere. The same place I have been in the last week - absolutely nowhere. Can't even tell you whether or not my horse is alive, or how long his tail is, or if he needs a shave (never mind that last comment - that is a whole other blog - yes, I shave my horses face).

So, while I contemplate the next week of doing nothing and going nowhere, I can say a few things for sure...my kitchen has been spotless (and Eric is loving it) and as a matter of fact, the whole house is pretty clean...I think Mono is catchy...I mean from a sleep standpoint...I seem to be sleeping a lot with her...well, not actually WITH her, but - ah, never mind. Had a two day migraine that made me want to either commit suicide or take every stinking pill I could get my hands on...oh wait...that is the same thing, isn't it? Well, it is gone now, and I guess I will be gone, too. I have been "circuitious" here, sorry. Do you like that word? My friend used it the other day and I had never heard it before. She told me what it meant and it just so happens to apply here..."CIRCUITOUS - TO TALK IN CIRCLES - MAKE NO SENSE"....

until next time...

WCA!!

That's right, WCA. For those of you who aren't familiar with my newly appointed term, it mean's "Word Challenge Annonymous". Which is where I am headed as soon as I finish this post. I swear, after I play the game, I walk away and every time I hear a word, my fragile mind starts to scramble the letters to make new words. That is what I should blog...the ridiculous words my mind comes up with. And I don't know about you, but I have a hard time turning my mind off. It doesn't listen to me. It just keeps doing what it wants to do...sort of like my kids, my dog and my birds...hhhhmmmm...I am seeing a trend. So, my kids say "Mommy, my head is sore" and right away my mind goes "head, had, ade, hade....sore, rose, roe, roes. ros" and on and on. I tell it to stop, it goes on. Can you imagine what a conversation must be like after playing that stupid game! I think I can scramble any 6 letter word to make at least 15 words between 3 and 6 letters! And I think I am going to play for 20 minutes and next thing I know...yup...an hour has passed. So after a few weeks of this, I realized I need help. Just like an alcoholic or drug addict. Overeaters have their annonymous, adult children of alcoholics have their annonymous, alcoholics have their annonymous, why can't I have my annonymous?

So, there. WCA. Oh, it just dawned on me. If I am announcing to the nation here that I am part of "Word Challenge Annonymous" it really isn't annonymous is it? Nation...not, tan, ton, tin, nit...stop it! Dawned...dawn, wad, wed, wand, and, wade, awe, awed, dew...stop it! really....real, rye, yea, lare, lear, yare, year, ear, are.....STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, until next time....until....tin, lit, lint......................................

And the Mother of the Year Award Goes To...

Well, I can assure you it won't be me.

Kind of like my daughter going to a "math-bee" and a "bible-bee" and then ASSURING me she will never make it to the "spelling-bee". Well as sure as she is that she will never attend a spelling bee...I am just as sure I will never get the Mother of the Year award...NEVER.

So, we all heard the woe of calls from the school..."I have a headache...I am dizzy...I don't feel good" blah blah blah. Well, got tired of it all and took my daughter to the doctor...they took blood which was a whole other blog, right? Well, results are in. She has mono. Who knew! So, if that isn't enough, I had to go to the office with my tail between my legs yesterday to tell the office, her teacher, the nurse and the gym teacher that she really does have something wrong and it isn't in her head...it is in her body. So, I ate humble pie and told them all. Had doc fax note in, wrote instructions to the gym teacher, etc.

And if that wasn't enough...had dinner out last nite with a dear friend who I rarely see. I was VERY specific with the kids before I left (Eric was still in Dallas so I was on my own). "OK, do NOT call me unless you are bleeding, projectile puking or Mina falls out of her wheelchair...got it?" "Yes"..."Bed time, Adam, is 7:30; Rae - 8...got it?"..."Yes"...OK, so we all understand each other, I repeated myself, which for all those mothers out there, we ALL know that when we do this, it is strictly for ourselves. We know our children hear what Charlie Brown heard when his teacher talked "Wha*9m ramm#!>" - essentially "blah blah blah". But it makes us feel better...so I did.

OK - got that done now it is time to leave. Honest to goodness, I was not there one hour and the phone rang..."Hello?"..."Mommy, Raechyl is doing her homework and it is going to take all night and I don't have anything to do"...I ponder for a nano second...maybe they didn't get the instructions...maybe the FIRST time I said it they heard blah blah blah....nah - can't be. Ok..."Are you bleeding?" "NO"...."is Mina on the floor with her legs higher than her head?"..."NO''..."then let me be very clear....DO NOT CALL BACK unless you have already called 911 and they are on their way!".

Okay - got that done now. RING...Now, I won't even answer the phone cause I am ticked. NO exaggeration - they called 6 times...each time I hit "ignore". Fast forward. I get home and decide...I'm done! I took every electronic everything in this entire house for maybe a year...maybe 2. This morning comes around. Adam gets up, walks downstairs and says..."Good morning mommy girl (that is what he calls me)". "good morning, Adam...for the record...I have taken away every electronic everything and you can have them back when you are 37" and his chin starts quivering...uh oh...what is that? He normally comes unglued when I do this...giving every explanation under the sun why it is not right for me to do this...but not this time.

"Adam, I told you and Rae NOT to do what you did and you just kept calling and calling and calling". And he says "mommy girl, I only called those last times because I was reading my mystery and I was so scared. I couldn't go to bed. Rae held me but I cried and cried...I was so scared. I wanted my mommy girl and just wanted you to pray with me"....................................

SH*&%##!~?)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT! MY chin now quivering I said "come here baby.....mommy is SO sorry...." and begin the explanation of, yes, the boy who cried wolf, and went on to say I would never do that again....mommy was a bad mommy....he can have everything back - in fact, I will go out any buy him a Corvette today and save the world in his name and donate 8 million dollars to feed the hungry and on and on I went.

CRUD! Sometimes our lessons are easy....sometimes not so much. This one - not so much. OK, God, you could have just wispered it in my ear - not shatter my ear drums screaming it to me! Thank God He has such a great sense of humor.

So, now we have gone full circle. No, I am not going to get mother of the year award...No, my child will never sleep again because of the boogey man....No, my children won't dare pick that phone up again when they are in trouble and need help....No, I don't want to ever walk in the school again because I am probably the WORST, MEANEST mom that ever lived. BUT, in the end, I know that they love me...they will someday have great stories to tell people (just like I am doing now) and like my friend's dad always says...."What doesn't kill us makes us stronger!"

Amen! And until next time....

Facebook...

Now I don't know about you, but Facebook was new to me not that long ago. I was in a wicked learning curve for awhile...I guess I still am. IDIOT girl! There was a message that said the easiest way to find friends was to log onto my mail account and check who I wanted to find...so I did. Then my address book came up with everyone automatically checked and being the rusher that I am, I just hit enter before my mind could comprehend what my fingers were doing...and that was the beginning of one ugly night. Yes, that was tonight.

My husband met me and my son for dinner. He said "Got your request to join facebook and I just hit delete"...got another message from another friend saying "R, you didn't have to ask me to be your friend...I will go to facebook now" and yet another who was kind enough to say nothing and just set up an account. Now I have to tell you, my address book goes back to 1999 when I first got on AOL (hence my email address of Arrie99) so lord only knows who is out there.

It is one of those times you just wish you could go back in time. I cannot even imagine what everyone is thinking, but I can tell you what I used to think "Hell no - are you kidding - set up an account with some unknown site..."

Yup, that's my life. So I sit here, wanting to write about Raechyl and mono, or Adam and his piano lesson tonight (boy, was it ugly! - I don't know how his teacher puts up with him for an hour these days) but I just have to write about FB. A good thing about facebook is that a childhood friend got in touch with me...funny what we think of. Some things are just linked with certain other things in our minds. Tina found me and the very first thing I thought of was a flood years ago when her house got flooded and we paddled around the streets in a row boat.

Well, if anyone is reading this that got the email - sorry. If anyone cares, my driveway is a mess again. I love the snow but hate my driveway - all half mile of it. BUT, I am getting smart - had Eric take the plow again. My van is sitting at the garage, covered in snow and ice. There is not a grain of salt to be had, and there is no warming on the front, so I will just drive the plow tomorrow because Eric is off to Dallas and he won't leave the plow at Newark Airport (boy, could I write another whole blog about Newark Airport). Looking forward to tomorrow and until next time....

Are You Kidding Me!

Ok, now far be it for me to complain, it just isn't in my nature as evidenced by this blog site. We were slated to get a descent snow storm for a change. They estimated 8-12 inches last night for today, so I got smart. There was NO way I was going to end up with that jeep again. So, I did the unthinkable. I told Eric he HAD to take the jeep today and leave me his truck. He willing abliged. Whew!

I awoke this morning to a phone call at 5 am stating that school was cancelled...Yippee! I was tired anyway so I went back to bed. I awoke several hours later to see the beautiful snow piling up all around me. I made my nice little fire, got comfy and started to read my bible...

And that is when it hit me. It is snowing like a banchy out there - we MUST have over 6 inches already and it is 9:30 am...the jeep is gone and my van (I won't even go there) and the truck is in the driveway and there is not only nowhere I HAVE to go, but there is no where I CAN go because everything is either closed on Mondays (anywhere I would want to go, anyway) or is closed because of the storm.

Now I know God has a great sense of humor and this is proof positive. So, I will sit by my fire, blanket around me and bible in hand, and muse over the fact that the truck is in the driveway and I am stuck in the house.

I might just take that truck up the driveway just because I can! I think it will make me feel better. Until next time...

Spew alert???

OK, what in the heck is a spew alert?

Now, according to "Urban Dictionary", the meaning is (and I quote), "Spew Alert:
To warn someone in the subject line of an email that they shouldn't read it with a mouthful of anything, or it might wind up on their screen, or keyboard..." Another site said this: "We need a Spew Alert symbol for the title or somewhere. We have spoiler alerts, smilies for every occasion, but no Spew Alert.I don't have money to keep buying new keyboards! And cleaning them is soooo time consuming!I need a warning! Please, just a little warning!" - that was more my speed...

I googled that and found a couple of other interesting things that were "tagged" spew alert...here are a few:

Obama in running for Nobel Peace Prize
Prof. Turner just said that terrorists may be imbedding messages in Viagra (who on earth is Prof. Turner and who cares because I will never be near viagra)
Clinton Says She Can Control Her Husband (scary thought worth spewing over)
Diebold: Because Democracy is too important to leave to chance (spew alert?)
Spew alert. Dregin are secretly the ducks and bunny hug the trees and barney type (now, this may as well be in French!)

And they went on and on. I got the point in the end...Spew alert...Warn me for heaven's sake so I don't make a complete idiot of myself when I am sitting at my desk at work, drinking my coffee, passing some time and come across something I find hilarious! It just makes for lies and more lies...I can just see (in my scary little head) something like this:

"Arrie, are you OK?"...(choke, wipe my nose of coffee and try to compose myself) "Um Hmm"..."what happened?" "nothin - just went down the wrong pipe"..."do you need anything?" "nope...just a tissue"..."I heard you choke and thought I heard you laughing"..."you did...I just happen to think choking is a bit funny"..."really???". At which point I would just continue to wipe off the screen, keyboard and shirt - hoping that no one in the course of the day asks me why I have coffee stains on my shirt. It, for me, would be like hearing Victoria (remember, my Cambodian friend) say something funny and just keep hitting the replay button for the next couple of days.

It was like when she told me about her traditional Cambodian wedding. They throw "baby plasm"...which DID make me choke. Who on earth would do such a thing. And she said it over and over. The more I asked "what??!!" she repeated "baby plasm". It was almost offensive to me, but to her, completely normal. I just couldn't stop asking "say it again". Until she finally got a piece of paper and wrote "baby blossums"...as in flowers...as in buds. Yup, baby flowers known to Cambodians as blossums...known to me as a friend of a Cambodian "baby plasm". I keep that one tucked in the recesses of my brain and every now and again, I hit the play button. It is always good for a chuckle. So for my new friend, Jen, who said I needed to put a spew alert on my blog, I will....Just for you, Jen!