Well, I can assure you it won't be me.
Kind of like my daughter going to a "math-bee" and a "bible-bee" and then ASSURING me she will never make it to the "spelling-bee". Well as sure as she is that she will never attend a spelling bee...I am just as sure I will never get the Mother of the Year award...NEVER.
So, we all heard the woe of calls from the school..."I have a headache...I am dizzy...I don't feel good" blah blah blah. Well, got tired of it all and took my daughter to the doctor...they took blood which was a whole other blog, right? Well, results are in. She has mono. Who knew! So, if that isn't enough, I had to go to the office with my tail between my legs yesterday to tell the office, her teacher, the nurse and the gym teacher that she really does have something wrong and it isn't in her head...it is in her body. So, I ate humble pie and told them all. Had doc fax note in, wrote instructions to the gym teacher, etc.
And if that wasn't enough...had dinner out last nite with a dear friend who I rarely see. I was VERY specific with the kids before I left (Eric was still in Dallas so I was on my own). "OK, do NOT call me unless you are bleeding, projectile puking or Mina falls out of her wheelchair...got it?" "Yes"..."Bed time, Adam, is 7:30; Rae - 8...got it?"..."Yes"...OK, so we all understand each other, I repeated myself, which for all those mothers out there, we ALL know that when we do this, it is strictly for ourselves. We know our children hear what Charlie Brown heard when his teacher talked "Wha*9m ramm#!>" - essentially "blah blah blah". But it makes us feel better...so I did.
OK - got that done now it is time to leave. Honest to goodness, I was not there one hour and the phone rang..."Hello?"..."Mommy, Raechyl is doing her homework and it is going to take all night and I don't have anything to do"...I ponder for a nano second...maybe they didn't get the instructions...maybe the FIRST time I said it they heard blah blah blah....nah - can't be. Ok..."Are you bleeding?" "NO"...."is Mina on the floor with her legs higher than her head?"..."NO''..."then let me be very clear....DO NOT CALL BACK unless you have already called 911 and they are on their way!".
Okay - got that done now. RING...Now, I won't even answer the phone cause I am ticked. NO exaggeration - they called 6 times...each time I hit "ignore". Fast forward. I get home and decide...I'm done! I took every electronic everything in this entire house for maybe a year...maybe 2. This morning comes around. Adam gets up, walks downstairs and says..."Good morning mommy girl (that is what he calls me)". "good morning, Adam...for the record...I have taken away every electronic everything and you can have them back when you are 37" and his chin starts quivering...uh oh...what is that? He normally comes unglued when I do this...giving every explanation under the sun why it is not right for me to do this...but not this time.
"Adam, I told you and Rae NOT to do what you did and you just kept calling and calling and calling". And he says "mommy girl, I only called those last times because I was reading my mystery and I was so scared. I couldn't go to bed. Rae held me but I cried and cried...I was so scared. I wanted my mommy girl and just wanted you to pray with me"....................................
SH*&%##!~?)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT! MY chin now quivering I said "come here baby.....mommy is SO sorry...." and begin the explanation of, yes, the boy who cried wolf, and went on to say I would never do that again....mommy was a bad mommy....he can have everything back - in fact, I will go out any buy him a Corvette today and save the world in his name and donate 8 million dollars to feed the hungry and on and on I went.
CRUD! Sometimes our lessons are easy....sometimes not so much. This one - not so much. OK, God, you could have just wispered it in my ear - not shatter my ear drums screaming it to me! Thank God He has such a great sense of humor.
So, now we have gone full circle. No, I am not going to get mother of the year award...No, my child will never sleep again because of the boogey man....No, my children won't dare pick that phone up again when they are in trouble and need help....No, I don't want to ever walk in the school again because I am probably the WORST, MEANEST mom that ever lived. BUT, in the end, I know that they love me...they will someday have great stories to tell people (just like I am doing now) and like my friend's dad always says...."What doesn't kill us makes us stronger!"
Amen! And until next time....
